November 16, 2005

Unconscious

It would be easier to think of her as sleeping...dreaming...resting.

But the reality is, she sustained major brain damage from the stroke she had this morning. There are still blood clots in her brain. She is in critical condition. Things can change for the worst in a split second.

I was thinking of her all day today. I couldn't concentrate at work. Practically all of us in the Department were constantly calling each other, wanting to know what was happening with her. Alternately anticipating and dreading incoming phone calls. Hoping and praying that she will be ok.

I kept thinking how she shared recipes with me. She's a wonderful cook, sharing with me with what she knows. I can make really great barbecued spareribs from the recipe she gave me. She even taught me her secret barbecue sauce. She's a proud grandmother, posting her grandkids' pictures as her desktop wallpaper. I have never seen a grandmother so besotted with her grandkids until I met her. She's a hard worker. She's Ms. Party Organizer Extraordinaire.

I remember how excited she gets every time they would go to Disney World. She loves Disney World like I do. We talk about that magical place endlessly.

She admires my derring-do and pluckiness, especially when I went skydiving last year. She calls me the bravest person she knows. On the other hand, I admire her youthfulness and spunk. During her trip to Disney World this summer, she came back to work excitedly showing us her picture riding Rock 'n' Roller Coaster starring Aerosmith. Her smile was so wide, there was no question she was having a great time.

Her spirit is so young. She laughs heartily. She enjoys life. She might be older than me in years, but she never pulled the bossy routine on me.

With her battling for her life right now, suddenly everything is put in its proper perspective.

I realize as I'm writing this that I'm making an inventory. I am trying to remember everything I know about her.

I am itemizing what is hers.

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