December 9, 2005

The thing is, I don't know how to relax.

The thing is, I don't know how to relax.

I feel like I should always be moving and doing something. I wake up in the morning. Within minutes, I start making a to-do list for the day. My husband gets exasperated with me sometimes because he said I'm always in motion. I can't help it.

The only time I can really relax is when we travel. It doesn't matter if we drive or fly. It's as if the physical distance really makes a difference to me. Maybe that's why we chose to live so far from where I'm working.

Travelling makes me realize how crazy I've been running myself ragged. It's the only time when I can distance myself enough from the craziness of day-to-day life. It's the only time when I can say how stupid I've been for getting so caught up with things that doesn't really matter.

Sadly, how often do we really go on vacations? Not that often.

I've been conditioned too much from working in a deadline-driven, fast-paced environment that now, I don't know how to take it easy. How sad is that?