March 1, 2006

Asleep
Sometimes
it's easier to live as if I'm asleep
than to wake up and realize the life I'm living
is not how I pictured it to be.

Indifferent
Walking through life in a haze
nothing excites me anymore
I look for dangerous things to keep me going.
I jump out of a plane with nothing but a parachute
Fearless.

I want to do something
Be something
Because the work I do
Treats me as nothing
And makes me feel nothing.

Trapped
Trapped in my own monologue
I repeat myself so often
I can do this whole routine in my sleep.

People seem interested in what I have to say.
Yet they come here expecting a certain performance.

But people who know who I used to be
Refuse to understand that I could become something else.
Then there are those who know me now
Who refuse to understand that I was something else before.

Dreaming
Of my youth
Of days gone by
Of going back in time

Dreams so long denied,
but never forgotten.
I look out the window and
remember the dreams I had when I had them.

When the color red meant something else by the light of the moon
When promises of love were believed in.

Awaken
Love is no longer just a promise.
It is beside me and around me.
Let in one person at a time
to touch your body, your mind and your soul.
Forget the pain as long as you're loved.
Let love show you who matters.

2 comments:

Paige said...

You are getting close. You know what I mean. Close to finding yourself. You have been there the whole time. And its ok to hide sometimes, it is a protection, self preservation. Love thy self & everything else will fall into place.

Cez said...

Hi Paige!

I believe that things will fall into place...that the right things will happen at the right time. Perhaps I felt so lost because I haven't been true to myself... haven't done work that I really want to do. Will try to change it soon.