April 12, 2006

Forgiveness

Sometimes it takes awhile before some sense is knocked into our heads.

I should've left a long time ago...never should've let it go on longer than necessary. Here I am, always telling people to always be good to themselves when it was me who wasn't doing it. Like all things, it was easier said than done. It's the concept of stability that kept me there. Never again will I make that mistake.

Now I realize how silly it was that I got so wrapped up in work...how it kept me so busy that I didn't have time for people who mattered. I tried my best to keep that work/life balance thing going. It was tiring, really. There's no one I'd rather spend time with than my loved ones, yet it was that time which I lacked.

What's more, my younger self wouldn't accept how I was getting treated there. It would tell the present me what an idiot I was. I had to look back just so I could see what was ahead. I'm glad I remembered my youthful idealism, which led me to where I am now.

Everything's so new. Every now and then, I find it odd that I'm the one being trained instead of being the one training others. But I'm not complaining.

Sadly, I'm still not over my experiences in that other job. I'm still trying to make sense of what I experienced there. I want to come to terms with everything. A part of me is still being too hard on myself for not knowing any better. Now if only I can forgive myself for not treating myself well before and for not leaving sooner, I'll be ok...

"Experience tells you that when you invest in a fleeting moment, your only return is a handful of fading memories. When you do the right thing and own your mistakes, they'll be yours forever. The good part is that, over time, those mistakes will turn into priceless lessons."

1 comments:

Lynn said...

So yeah, me again. =D You gotta just sit back and joy Life As It Is, instead of ruining the newness of your life by dwelling on what you should've or shouldn't've done.