September 26, 2006

Terrified more than I cared to admit

My dad wasn't feeling well this weekend. We were monitoring his blood pressure. Up and up it went. My sister and I tried to convince him to go to the hospital, see a doctor, but he wouldn't. Tried our darndest, to no avail. He wanted to go to Jersey City to check out the newly-opened Red Ribbon Bakeshop. I made him chamomile tea. I brought it up to their room in a tray and even included low-sodium saltine crackers and a banana. I never wanted to get into the medical field, but at that moment, I just wanted to know enough not to be worried. The extent of my medical knowledge is based on previous experience. I didn't even feel capable enough to check his blood pressure.

Sunday morning, his blood pressure was still high but not as high as the day before. He didn't want to go to the hospital. He wanted to go to Red Ribbon.

He surely is stubborn as hell...which explains where I get my stubbornness.

It terrified me. I know people get sick, grow old and all that, but it's scary when a parent gets sick. You come face to face with their mortality.

It's been so long since I've spent time with them. Years passed by with me living my life here and them living theirs back home. Now that they're here, it's been really fun. I hope that I will never take them for granted.

I realized how fast time flies that you really have to make a decision. Decide to slow down and enjoy life. There is so much to live for. No matter how rushed everything is, you have to get to a point where you slow down and just be - be your own person, be a wife, a daughter, a sister, an aunt, whatever you want to be. The more you keep running, the faster time flies. Maybe when you slow down, time will slow down too.

Today my older sister brought him to the walk-in clinic in her town, then to the emergency room in Saint Francis Hospital. Turns out it's gastritis and was prescribed Lasix and Pepcid. They also want him to go for a check-up for the heart murmur and mild heart congestion.

I pray that all goes well.