October 10, 2006

Hospitalized and awaiting surgery

My dad's in the Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn right now. He's scheduled for quadruple bypass surgery sometime this week in Beth Israel, which is in Manhattan.

He was brought to the ER Sunday night because he was having chest pains (angina pectoris). They did some blood work on him and ECG. Yesterday morning, he was supposed to do the stress test on a treadmill, but he couldn't do it. They did an echocardiogram and a cardiac catheterization.

It's all so scary, but I know it's the best course of action for him.

I went to work today. Strange how work is my refuge right now. I can't get my head around to admitting how terrified I am. I'm mostly freaking out inside, but trying to put on a brave front. When my eldest sister saw our dad yesterday, she cried and cried, which then triggered our mom to cry. I wore my sunglasses to hide the tears. My other two sisters are off on vacation, but they are constantly updated. They don't know if they should cut short their vacation, but I'm not telling them what to do. They're adults who can decide for themselves.

Other people try to console me by telling me how bypass surgery is fairly routine nowadays. Yeah, it is and I know they mean well, but it still doesn't stop me from worrying. He's my only dad. Of course, I'll worry.

When I got to work, I saw messages from Lene and Paige. Their kindness made me want to cry. How can you lose faith in people when there exists such kindness? These are people who are friends, virtual friends. Thank you, ladies.

We're driving back to NYC once the schedule for the surgery has been set. In the meantime, I'll take comfort in my old routine.