February 9, 2007

I think it's sad, but she knows that already

A former coworker is 7 months pregnant. Her husband left her before she knew she was pregnant. He cheats, leaves, comes back, cheats again, leaves, comes back. It's a vicious cycle. According to her, the baby was conceived during one of the rare times that they got along.

I don't know why it bothers me.

She admits she was always competitive. Always wanted to be the favorite child, get the highest grades, study in the fanciest university, get the best degree, marry the best guy, rise to the ranks at work. Somehow, something went wrong along the way.

Actually, I do remember her competitiveness. We're the same age. We worked in the same office when we were 24. She took everything so seriously. I was her complete opposite. I'd tell silly jokes and laugh with our officemates, yet I prided myself in getting the work done. She rarely laughed. Even if she tried to finish her work, she couldn't. It was one thing I never understood. I mean, there she was, always ready to buckle down and do serious work, but she could never get it done. I was goofing off, yet I finished the work assigned to me.

Her competitive spirit was not only in things that matter. Even in silly things. Remember the movie "Babe" with the cute talking pig? At the time that movie was shown, we had a silly conversation in the office with everyone saying how cute Babe was, how funny, etc. She announced, "I'm Babe." (yeah, weird that she wanted to be Babe but whatever). Then she turned to me and said, "you're Mrs. Hoggett". A male officemate promptly corrected her and said, "she's Babe, you're Mrs. Hoggett". I told you, it was silly.

We haven't been in touch since we both resigned from that job so I was excited to find her online. The last time I chatted with her was last year when I found out about her marriage problems, the cheating husband, and the plans to leave him. Then it was followed by a long period of silence. I didn't hear from her again until two nights ago. Turns out she never left him because he left her first. And she's pregnant.

She can't stand him. She wants to be rid of him. But now she is having his baby, which will forever tie her to him one way or the other.

I felt sad for the way things turned out for her, but I couldn't tell her. She said she made so many mistakes already. All I could tell her was, "you have to do what's right for you".

Yet I wonder, how can things go so horribly wrong?

Little things go wrong every now and then. Sometimes I seem like a bit of a drama queen, but I still believe that the decisions I made in my life were good. Even if people disagreed with what I wanted to do. Does having faith in your decision-making count for much really? I know we are all led into different directions. But in her case, I really wonder. She thought he was a good catch. What went wrong?

I know I can never get the complete answer. She's not really a close friend of mine, yet she told me what she could. I just didn't know what to tell her. All I could do was be there.