March 7, 2007

It'll be a year since I quit my old job

Tomorrow will be the first anniversary of my resignation from my former job.

I can't believe a year flew by just like that. I can still remember vividly how the director reacted when I handed my resignation letter. She played the understanding card for 10 minutes, and then yelled at me for a good twenty. Her question, "how sure are you that six months from now, you wouldn't want to come back here?" haunted me for a short time. Just a short time. She didn't realize that her asking me that only prodded me to prove her wrong at all costs. How was I supposed to know what I wanted six months into the future? I was not a fortuneteller. Yet I stood my ground and didn't waver. I quit and that was that.

Some moments make you feel proud of who you are and the decisions you've made. That day was one of those days. I was no longer swayed into staying because of great benefits. What use were the great benefits if the workplace itself was lousy and if I was being treated shabbily? In the end, I was using the great benefits to stay out of the office. I was perpetually sick. It wasn't what I wanted for myself. And so I left.

A year later, I can honestly say that returning to my old job was not even an option I considered the past months. It was over. I was done there. I was moving on. I learned a lot there. I met both really nice and horrible people, worked with both ok and terrible bosses. I haven't even visited them since I left. I've been in touch by e-mail, yes, but that's that. I realize that sometimes, things had to get worse before they could get better. Had the situation stayed ok, I don't think I would've left. I would've gone on doing the things I usually do there, without even thinking of what other things I actually can and want to do.

Now I'm working in a different field with more responsibilities. I started Red Mark Studio, even if I haven't seriously marketed it yet (I will, I will). A part of me wants to go back to the director and tell her, "you know what? It's been a year. You treated me badly, but I moved on. My life didn't end after I left your office." But what would be the point of it, really? I don't need to prove anything to her anymore. I've already done far more in a year than I did in her office for the past 7-8 years. I am just thankful that I did what I did when I did.

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