June 12, 2007

Of families and distance

Having a baby in the family makes me think...well...of family and how distance makes an impact on families.

My husband's family is in California. Mine is scattered - three in the Philippines, one in New York, and four in Connecticut. We live in Connecticut. My eldest sister and her family lives exactly 20 miles from our place (yeah, I Googled it). The second eldest lives exactly 38.3 miles from our place (thanks again, Google).

Brief history: my husband and I, together with my second eldest sister, used to live and work in NY. Eventually, we bought our own respective homes - my sister still in NY, while my husband and I bought in CT. Location-wise, our place is in between the eldest and the second eldest. Which is fine because our mom advised that in case of emergencies, we're close enough to help one another as the need arises. That's part of the reason we ended up in CT, instead of staying in NY.

Dysfunction alert!

You'd think that with our proximity to the eldest's place, we'd see them more often. Truth be told, last time we saw them was March. There have been sporadic e-mails, and even rarer texts. Every now and then, my nieces would pop up online and chat with me, which is great because it seems like the only way to find out how they're doing.

I make an effort to try to see them every now and then, which is always met with a no. They're too busy. Or they're doing chores. Or goodness knows what other reason. It's annoying, really.

No one should have to beg for love and attention. No one should have to beg for time to spend with their loved ones. When we hear from them, it's like we should be eternally grateful for the little crumbs of attention thrown our way. The second eldest is more patient. Patience has never been my strong point. I give her kudos and snaps for persistence.

The way I see it, "kung gusto, maraming paraan; kung ayaw, maraming dahilan", which roughly translates to: if you want something, you do everything to get it. if you don't, you make every excuse to avoid doing it (thanks to my youngest sister for the translation).

We hardly get to see the girls. They're great girls. Distinct personalities, talented and with good hearts. Even when they were young, you can talk to them. They were little adults who can argue and who actually make sense. They're both growing up so fast. Yet I have to make do with watching home videos from way back when. We actually saw them often when we lived in NY than now.

I hate not seeing the girls when we live so close.
I hate not spending time with them.
I hate trying in vain to spend time with them, yet kept getting rebuffed for reasons I don't know about.

Which leads me to this entry. Little Milani's birth made me realize that I don't want to spare my husband the fun stuff of being an uncle. Perhaps a move to the West Coast might be in order. There, I've said it. It's a thought that's been growing in my mind.

Since living close to my nieces hardly makes a difference in how often we see them, I don't think there's not much difference if we move to the West Coast. I mean, we don't see them now anyway. What difference will a cross-country move make?

I like Seattle, although it's 14 hours away from where my in-laws live. I say that's what planes are for. I've never been to Seattle, but it's a green city. It rains a lot, which is good because I like rain a lot.

Maybe it's because I've been feeling out of sorts lately that's why I'm thinking this way. Let's see if I change my mind in the days to come. There might be more entries about this.