June 9, 2007

The squeaky wheel DOES get the grease

I've been stressed and exhausted at work.

Granted, they warned me in advance that I'll be taking on more responsibilities within the company. They want me to play a major role in its growth. They appreciate what I do. I work hard and I try my best with everything that falls on my lap. Lately though, my platter has been constantly full. I haven't had a decent sleep in weeks. I find my mind is still racing even when I'm in bed. My lower back has been hurting. Plus, I actually have pimples!

Crash and burn was the phrase constantly floating in my head. I kept cranking out work like unbelievable. I kept telling myself, "well, at least, I don't skip lunch just to keep working". I've become the Miracle Worker, the go-to person during emergencies.

When I work hard, I tend to work without a break. Even if my MS Outlook at work is set to remind me every hour & a half to take a break, I've been missing them. "I don't have time to take a break", I say. I've been putting the needs of the office ahead of my own.

Finally last week, I told the partners that I need help. Otherwise, I'm going to crash and be worse off. They asked the other junior staff to pitch in, so now I'm learning how to delegate. It's tough. I'm used to thinking, "if I want something done, I have to do it myself." Yet, I also have to learn to balance my workload. I can't operate at this pace for such a long time and not expect any tolls on my body. Something is bound to get missed. Either I have a major burnout or a mental breakdown.