May 28, 2008

More on being a bad daughter

I chatted with a friend early morning today and told him about the bad daughter thing.

It's always nice to talk to someone who asks the right questions, even if there were many opportunities for me to get angry with him. Like, if I did what I did for my parents out of a sense of obligation being a daughter, or out of love. I told him both. It was easy to get defensive, really. But we forged on and discussed what happened. Plus, he wasn't even judging me for feeling the way I did. That's the mark of a good friend.

After our chat, he concluded that I'm not a bad daughter. Just as I suspected.


... Paige said...

All of you are under a great deal of stress and at a weakened place in your family. Stress is a funny thing. Stress sometimes makes you aware of every little thing and with you are more tired mentally, physically and emotionally. No one has control over cancer and that is one of the scariest things about it. It will do what is wants no matter what we do or don’t do.
He is afraid at the thought of maybe loosing a daughter and that is why is ok to be mad at you and blame you for something-anything. It gives him a place to focus his anger and stress. You are the caregiver this is your control, the only thing you can control, of the situation.
My prayers are with you all. May peace settle among you, love brighten your hopes and God’s grace will see you through.

Cez said...

Thanks, Paige. Your words ring so true. Just my luck that some people lash out in anger. I happened to be the convenient scapegoat. Good thing I have my mom & sisters around after the incident. We processed it faster as a team than on our own. Healthier for us, I think.