June 19, 2008

More life lessons

With everything that's been happening lately, there's been a lot of things to process, but no time to actually sit down or take a quick walk just to clear out my head. I usually go for alone time to do that, but today, I managed it while walking outside with Zack. I'm sharing them here because you might find it useful as well.

Just talk. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Mind reading does not lie in our blood. Of course, it's important to think before speaking. It is possible to speak the truth without being hurtful. Sometimes, it really is better to be kind than right.

Don't make others feel too useless. People really want to help. Really, truly and sincerely. But they have no idea how to help. Most people have to be told what kind of help is expected from them.

Don't make others feel too useful. Some people have the uncanny skill of getting things done and making it look easy. The thing is, it is never easy. It just has to be done, no matter what. Don't put all the eggs in one basket, especially when there are other baskets that can be utilized. Let other people rise up to the occasion. After all, such occasions happen rarely (and thank goodness for that!).

Don't focus too much on family roles. Father, mother, eldest, middle and youngest – we all have expectations in our minds how each one should act. When they don't do as we expect, it's effortless to get mad at them for not living up to their "roles". But these are just "roles". We assume them without anyone telling us what we must and should do. We just do them. If others end up not doing what you expect them to, then it's not their fault, but yours. Tell them and they'll know what's expected of them. Don't tell them and they're kept in the dark. If that's difficult, lower your expectations.

Everyone has to pitch in, no matter what. Excusing one person from their responsibilities does not really teach them responsibility. One cannot be responsible for one aspect of their lives and ignore the rest. One cannot tell others what to do and not chip in as well. Total and true responsibility is juggling all the aspects of your life that are important to you.

It's easy to become what you dislike and/or hate the most. Perhaps that's the nature of evil and all that is bad. It's detestable. It's replicable. Sometimes, while you detest them, you end up exhibiting the same traits and behavior. Take a step back and be careful of what you dislike and/or hate.


... Paige said...

Wow-how wise your words. Be safe