August 26, 2009

Spoiled and Snob

"SPOILED comes from SPOIL
• verb (past and past part. spoilt (chiefly Brit.) or spoiled) 1 diminish or destroy the value or quality of. 2 (of food) become unfit for eating. 3 harm the character of (a child) by being too indulgent. 4 treat with great or excessive kindness. 5 (be spoiling for) be extremely or aggressively eager for. 6 mark (a ballot paper) incorrectly so as to invalidate one's vote.

• noun 1 a person who has an exaggerated respect for high social position or wealth and who looks down on those regarded as socially inferior. 2 a person who believes that their tastes in a particular area are superior to others: a wine snob."
Two words used by someone I know to describe me. There were actually five words given to describe me, but these last two made me think because of the negative connotations associated with them. Whether or not it was a first impression or something long-lasting, I've no idea. Nevertheless, I've been thinking about it.

If I'm spoiled, then it implies that my parents were overindulgent with me, thereby "harming" my character. It also implies that who I am is warped. OUCH!

OK, so my parents provided us with what they could. Sue them for being THAT type of parents. Most of the time, we didn't even need to ask for anything. Any material things they gave us, they gave to us without us crying, begging or pleading for it. In fact, I bet if we actually did any actual crying, begging and pleading, my mom would stand her ground and refuse steadfast. That's the way she is. She doesn't get pressured by such antics. She will just keep a grim expression on her face, while looking at you in a most disapproving manner. Enough to make you feel like an idiot for acting like a brat in the first place. In the same way that we were never rewarded for getting high grades in school. Why should we be rewarded for something that is EXPECTED of us to do? We were in school to study, and if we did a good job, then great. Pats on the back all around. But a reward? No way! You're SUPPOSED to study, after all. If you performed over and above what was expected, then maybe, MAYBE you'll get a treat. A new book perhaps. Or a nice dinner outside.

If I'm a snob, then it means that I look down on other people. That I'm too full of myself because I'm rich. Double OUCH!

Here's a funny thing. For the longest time, I considered the term "snob" to mean as someone who isn't friendly. I usually associated it with being aloof, detached, indifferent, unapproachable, and unfriendly. Which I can be sometimes. Hmmm...actually, I can be that way more often than sometimes. That was why I was OK with the term. Tonight I looked it up. Realized what an insult it is, not just to me, but also to my parents. My parents, especially my Mom, would be the last person to tolerate such a behavior - the type (according to the dictionary) "who looks down on those regarded as socially inferior". Seriously. Even my maternal grandma would roll in her grave IN FURY. We've always been taught to keep and maintain a low profile. If you've got money, then there's no need to go yelling about it to the whole world. Keep it under the radar. Give yourself some dignity and shut up about it. In fact, whether or not one has money is and should be irrelevant. It's who you are and how you deal with people that's more important. You should make friends with everyone, social status be damned.

A part of me is disappointed for being thought of that way. But once again, it reflects more on the person who said it than on me. So thank goodness that it's only a teeny tiny part of me that felt disappointed. Plus, two negative words out of five ain't bad.

(Thanks, AskOxford, for the definitions!)


... Paige said...

Sometimes it is funny about the meaning of words that we thought we understood and then we go and get all official and look them up to be suddenly disappointed in their meaning.
Take for instance the word nice; an ex co-worker once told me that he looked up the word in a very old dictionary and that it was really an insult word because it meant "fool" and therefore the better word to use is 'kind'. I have not challenged his meaning because it makes logical sense to me. A nice person will do things without thinking what will happen next and a kind person will do what needs to be done that will be best for all concerned.
A bit long winded today :^}

Cecilia said...

Wow! I didn't know that about the word "nice", Paige! Thanks for sharing. I actually like using that word. Now I have to rethink its usage.