November 5, 2009

Lethal friendships

I had other reasons that led to my decision to delete some people from my life.

Of the different groups of friends I have, the group I mentioned in my earlier post had toxic levels that went unchecked for so long. It was so exclusive that it was choking on its exclusivity. Some of the people in the group got jealous and/or mad of other relationships or friendships that I have. They wanted me to hang out with them and ONLY them. I needed my space, so even if they got mad at me, I ignored them. I can't always hang out with them, nor do I really want to. They might not like it when I hung out with other people, but I like it, so there. I've always done my own thing, gone my own way, so yelling at me didn't really make me stay with them. Yet I continued to consider them friends. What's more, I know for a fact that some of them have said bad things about me behind my back. But they apologized, so I forgave them.

After I moved to the US, it was easier to stay friends with them. Hey, I was in a DIFFERENT continent. But even I was surprised that their toxicity crosses continents.

When you're young, it isn't always easy to tell if you're in a bad friendship or not. How can you? It takes years to figure it out. By then, hopefully, you know better. You don't stay out of loyalty. Some people are worth that loyalty. Others are simply not.