It's been a week since my heel pain started. I went to the podiatrist who gave three reasons for the pain. I'm supposed to wear a splint at night while sleeping, and slather on some ointment to reduce the swelling. Not exactly comfortable, but I gotta do what I gotta do. I blogged about the body/mind/spirit connections before, so when this heel pain started, I asked my sister to check her book for me. Here's what my sister texted me: "asthma/allergies/immune system/feet---all 1st chakra (base of spine) issues. dealing with ability to provide for life's necessities, ability to stand up for self, family and group safety/security."
How on target.
I want to be financially stable that I can easily give my share in paying the household expenses. My husband's not the demanding sort when it comes to these things, but it's the way I am, so there.
I know that I should stand up for myself more often at work. Do I enjoy the put-down due to my not having a medical background? Of course not. Do I enjoy the workplace politics? Hell no. Have I been so scared of the current economy's state that I'm staying somewhere that didn't feel like a good fit right from the start? Yes, unfortunately.
Since graduating lately, I've been thinking more and more on my next career move. I have a job that in no way allows me to use what I've learned. I've been PROMISED that I'll get the chance to use it EVENTUALLY. When that is, who knows? I ask and ask. Work has been a major cause of stress, which led me to start kickboxing (by the way, no sparring in our class). All I look forward to at the end of the work day is kickboxing class. It focuses my attention on my body, how I'm challenging it every time I'm in class. But with the recent heel pain, my podiatrist told me to put kickboxing on hold.
Cue "a-ha!" moment.
No kickboxing meant that I'm forced to face my current work situation. I can't hide behind kickboxing to make me forget now. Have I been losing track (yet again) of what I should be doing with my life? People at work tell me, "you help us follow our dreams". Nowadays, I actually respond with, "yeah, but this isn't my dream".
Now what? Good question. I was never a scaredy cat, but knowing people who lost jobs, or can't get jobs is not consoling. I wish that I'd stop being scared and just go. Being in it for the money doesn't feel good to me. Right now, my classmates/friends from school are sources of inspiration. One just moved to Miami after receiving a job offer to be a TV producer. Another one went to two interviews last week. There's hope.