September 25, 2013

Shingles: Day 5, Part 2

Maybe I should just blog at night, instead of writing two-parters.

Anyway, I booked an appointment with an acupuncturist tomorrow morning. Our friends Joan and Leo have been telling me about acupuncture. My sister Lynn and I have been talking about trying it out, but I didn't think shingles would be a reason to do so. Even our other sister Lani encouraged me to give it a try. So a try I will give it tomorrow. I wonder if I can take pictures?

What else?

Three guy pals have been checking up on me diligently via texts and FB chat since I've been indisposed. Mind you, they're not even my closest guy pals. I know everyone's fairly busy with things to attend to, so I really appreciate what they've been doing. When I say, "nagagastusan ka pa sa pag-text", it's nice to read, "piso lang ang text 'no?" And yes, they're willing to spend that peso (or more) on me. *cue me crying again* Pardon the virtual tears, I'm just touched by their gestures and glad to have really good friends.

I've been thinking about what's been getting on my nerves. Then I found this:

Two friends I know are undergoing relationship problems. That image above summarizes what I've been telling them. In frustration, I even quoted from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" - "we accept the love we think we deserve." Went inside one ear, out the other. Arrrrggghh!

I have to sit and watch them crash and burn, which galls me no end. I know that's how some people learn, right? Not from well-meaning advice, not from other people's experiences, but from actual jump-off-a-cliff experiences. There's no way I can save people from themselves. People do what they want to do. But yeah, it gets on my nerves more than I'd like. I really should just stay away from them at this point. Too much drama.

What's the point of me seeing and saying you're worth more than what you're getting? You don't believe it yourself. You're holding on to someone that's holding on to something/someone else. You keep finding reasons to stay, even if it hurts you and destroys you. I know you've invested YEARS of your life with that person. Wouldn't a little honesty be warranted by now? 

You said it yourself that how you get treated, "It's like I cannot handle the truth or worst, do not deserve the truth." You've said it yourself, "I'm never enough for him. He always goes back to her." You tell me that you're happy, but he makes you sad because he dodges the truth, whether he's still with her or not. 
 
If you won't let go of the wrong one, how can you find the right one? How can you even recognize the right one at this point when you don't know how honesty and trust feels? You deserve oh-so-much better, and it saddens me terribly that you don't see it, that you think that's the best you can get. You stay and for the life of me, unfortunately, I can't make you go. It's your life, after all. You love who you love.

Yes, I'll just steer clear of other people's problems. Even if they come seeking my advice, I will tell them that they know what to do already. I've got my own stuff to think about.

Thank you, Vanilla and Caramel, for allowing me the space to say again what I tried to, but was ignored.











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