July 22, 2016

An Open Letter to My Best Friend

You're at a crossroads again.

I can stand idly by, listen to you complain endlessly, feel sorry about yourself and even crash and burn. But I care for you far too much to let you do that. You've had tough times. Never-ending, it seems. You get stuck in situations that you feel suck you in slowly but surely. I can tell you all sorts of consoling things. Heck, I can even tell you things you don't want to hear. But I care enough about you that I have to point out certain things that you already know, but you need reminding.

Stop saying yes to every job opportunity that comes your way because you want to learn new things. The end result is always the same. You realize that it doesn't really interest you. You get stuck because you already learned so much, it seems a waste to just walk away. But honestly, it's the novelty, right? Once it wears off, you don't like it anymore. If you want to learn something new, take up knitting or crocheting. For goodness' sake, take up a new hobby, NOT a new job.

Stop thinking bosses will help you move up your career ladder. It's your career, not theirs. They usually admit it anyway - they're in it for themselves. Not you. Not the team. They aim to move up. You're just one of the people who can get them where they want to be. Learn from them. Seriously.

Stop being indecisive about your career. What do YOU want to do? Do you want to keep working for companies? Are you looking for someone to take care of you and give you regular paychecks? Honestly, longevity with companies is now just a pipe-dream. You know you'd rather be your own boss.

Stop allowing fear to get the better out of you. Come to think of it, it's not really getting the better out of you. By not going after what you want, you're suppressing what you're really good at. You're always afraid of not having enough, having bills to pay. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stop being so scared! You are braver than you think.

Stop acting like you don't deserve anything good. Even if you say you do, your choices don't really reflect that. Treat yourself better than how you've been treating yourself. You treat others with more consideration and forgiveness. Direct it to yourself.

Stop going with the flow (if you can). Go after what you want. Sure you do that with small things. How about trying it with bigger and more important stuff? Reward yourself with what you want.

Here's what you should try now.

You know your value. Go after opportunities that will recognize and will reward you with what you're worth. Everytime you go after something new that you don't know about, you allow others to dictate your value. And it's always, "you don't know anything about this job. Why should we pay you a lot when you don't know anything about it? You'll learn on the job." Stop allowing others to dictate your value when you keep getting into new things. Go after opportunities that you have expertise in. That way, you can be paid what your skills and talents are worth. Better yet, set your own price because you know your own worth.

Put your money where your mouth is. Be where you want to be. No apologies, excuses or explanations are necessary. You don't owe anyone that. In other words, please, please, PLEASE...

Be true to yourself. Stop overthinking things. You've always known what you want. Yet you always consider everyone and leaving yourself last. STOP. No one will give you a medal for being self-sacrificing.

Use your backbone more, your wishbone less. You can get more done that way. Wishing your life away is no way to live.

Take THAT step. Whatever you're afraid of. Life is full of surprises.

Give yourself what you want. Stop waiting for approval or permission. You've always played by the rules - other people's rules. It's time to break those rules because it's your life. Own it. They can shove their rules up their asses.

Great things are gonna happen soon. Get ready because awesome is yet to come.


Jon said...

we care about our friends so we do not want them to hurt or fail but at the end of the day, they have to make their own decisions. we can only advise them as an outsider seeing things perhaps more objectively.