vanilla and caramel

Nearly completed

2012-02-10T16:42:00.000-05:00

I am officially finished with my final blog post assignment for my blog "The Intermediary Life".

Now I can focus on our final group project. Our topic? The ethics of image manipulation. I wanted that topic, and thankfully, my two other groupmates went along with it. Those guys just let me get away with these things!

Thankful in 10

2012-02-06T16:28:00.002-05:00

I've been trying to amp up an "attitude of gratitude" for quite sometime now. Early this year, I've been doing my "thankful in 10" exercise. Maybe I should call it "thankful in 10 minutes".

Anyway, here's how it goes: I set my timer for 10 minutes, then write down the things I'm grateful for. Once the time's up, then I'm done. I don't keep a journal for it. Whatever piece of paper I can get my hands on, I use. I simply list what I'm thankful for without reasons. I mean, I know why I'm thankful for them anyway. ;) I don't list down things in a rushed manner, of course. I take my own sweet time.

Today, I decided to do it here in my blog. Let me set the timer...GO!

nice, clear skies. a good winter day. walking Zack outside. checks in the mail. direct deposit. cranberry apple tea. good comments on my school work. nice classmates. funny hubby. funny Zack. good health. good friends who know me. dreams. day dreams. night dreams. refreshing naps. free tea. work. supportive professors. people who make me smile. people who make me laugh. people who love me and who I love in return. helpful FAQs. friendly neighbors. good neighborhood. peppermint tea. a full refrigerator. home-cooked meals. this laptop. my other laptop. my cellphone. being in touch with people I care about. people who care enough to be in touch with me. looking at old diploma and transcripts. potential new job. talking to former co-workers early in the day. getting a 9-hour sleep. this blog. my other blogs. business inquiries. excellent TV shows. excellent movies. workshops to attend. friends. old friends. new friends. never-thought-we'd-still-be-friends-till-now friends.

OK, 10 minutes is done. :) Back to my regularly scheduled programming. Hope your day's going well!

It's not my story anymore

2012-01-29T00:32:00.000-05:00

I've got different groups of friends from different phases of my life. I don't think the groups overlap because they hardly get to meet. Today, I realized that each group knows things about me that the other groups don't.

Does that make me a less-than-forthright person? Should my life be an open book to each group? With each group, they shared my experiences at that point in time when we hung out often together. Of course, whatever they think of me and what I think of them is based largely on our experiences then.

That's why in each group, I seem to play a different role. To my high school friends, I'm the techie, suplada and mataray person who they avoid rubbing the wrong way. I'm nice as nice can be, but if you piss me off, well, takot sila'ng galitin ako dahil hindi ako aatras.

It's not that I try to forget my past by not sharing everything with every single friend I have. If I didn't share something with them, I just don't want it to be a big part of my life story anymore. ESPECIALLY if it's a bad experience. It's not as if you forget the bad stuff that happens to you. You don't. But to live in it constantly prevents you from moving on. I dislike people who act victimized. I myself don't like getting victimized. I also don't like acting like a victim. After all, I'm only a victim for as long as I allow myself to be one.

It's my story and it'll be the best story that I'll ever know. :)

"She makes me happy"

2012-01-25T21:54:00.000-05:00

My friend and I were discussing her nephew the other day. Curious, I went to check the boy's FB profile. Came across a photo of him with his girlfriend. Caption: "She makes me happy."

In four words, this 18-year-old boy summarized what's important when you're with someone. You can be with someone you love, but if you or the other person's not happy, when the bad days outweigh the good, then something's wrong. It comes down to what's important - love and happiness. If you love the person and the person loves you back, if being together makes the two of you sublimely happy, then that's all that matters.

In and out's not so easy

2012-01-16T18:48:00.000-05:00

The Philippines has long been adamant about promoting tourism. It IS a beautiful country. What I don't get is why no one's trying to improve the infrastructure to support the influx of people. It needs to be upgraded NOW. Let's begin with the airport, shall we?

Ninoy Aquino International Airport (NAIA) Terminal 1. I've been flying in and out of NAIA ever since it was Manila International Airport. I wish I can say it has changed much, but not really. During our last trip, arriving there was a nightmare. The airport was hot. I know that the Philippines is a tropical country, but please...we'll experience soon enough that it's hot outside.

As we were heading out the plane, NAIA employees greeted us. What were they doing there? Shouldn't they be working instead? Or is that part of their job description? Goodness knows, we don't need greeters. We're tired. We just want to get through immigration, get our luggages, get past customs and head out. If there's time, maybe grab a quick bite. Welcome us with your comfortable airport facilities. That's all.

Immigration? A nightmare. The long lines, even when we arrived past midnight, was hard to understand. We came home during the holiday season, but something has to be done about the lines. After we got our luggages, going past customs was a breeze, so excellent on that.

Heading out, I felt cheerful at what I thought was a semblance of order amidst the chaos. Depending on your last name, you go either on the left ramp or the right ramp. Is there a difference? Turns out, NOT MUCH. Either way, you end up where the greeters are. What's the logic behind it? I have no clue. As you reach the bottom of the ramp, you see a THRONG of people, a sea of faces out there. Was it overwhelming? Most definitely. I remember backing off and then going back again. I had to take a deep breath before joining the fray.

There were security people who kept whistling and whistling no end. You'd seriously have to cover your ears. It didn't really make the traffic flow faster. It added noise to the already noisy din - cars honking, people talking and yelling. Heaven help us. By the time you leave the airport, chances are, you've lost hearing temporarily.

On the day we left the country, I was irritated yet again by the terminal fee, otherwise known as the "Airport User's Charge". Ever heard of this in any airport you've flown out of? Only in the Philippines. You'll see the breakdown of this charge on the right. PD1957 and EO 030 seem both worrisome and hilarious to me.

Let's put it this way, NAIA is 30 years old. It has not aged well. Sure, they can promote its retro vibe, but seriously, it's just stuck in some time warp. I know fixing it up will take a lot of money. But it'll be a good investment. Just don't get lazy and do cosmetic changes when the airport sadly needs more than that. The Diosdado Macapagal (Clark) International Airport is already a far better, though infinitely smaller, airport than NAIA. If you can do it there, then go for it with NAIA. After all, your first impression of a country comes from your experience at the airport upon arrival.

Focus on the facilities that travelers use most in airports - restrooms, relaxing seats and restaurants.

That way, it'll be more fun to arrive in the Philippines.

Unanimous

2012-01-03T02:24:00.002-05:00

After 20 days in the Philippines, we're back.

On the day of our return flight, while at the airport, I started bawling like a baby, tears streaming down my cheeks. I hugged my mom. Then my sister Lynn clapped me on the back, told me to "man up" and we hugged as well. We bid them goodbye, and I continued crying. We passed the first security checkpoint with me in tears. During luggage check-in, I was still weeping. Tears stopped, replaced by mild annoyance when it was time to pay the infernal terminal fee (what the heck is that terminal fee really about?). While waiting for boarding, I texted friends like crazy before I officially turned off the cellphone I was using in the Philippines.

As you can tell, 20 days in the Philippines is still not enough. It was a whirlwind of activity once again. I can't share all of them here (too long a story), but here are the highlights.

There was the wedding. My dark orange gown rocked big time. We all thought that we'd dance the night away, but didn't. The next day, it was off to Boracay where we stayed at La Reserve. This time around, we actually went to the water (I'm not really a waterbaby). When we got back to Manila, we went to Nueva Ecija to visit a distant relative who was hospitalized lately. We made her cry though. She didn't know that we were in the country, much more, that we were visiting her in her house. It was one surprise that I enjoyed doing for her.

Met the rest of my mom-in-law's side for the first time. God bless them all, they're down-to-earth people. I hung out with my husband's younger cousins (younger as in 25+ years old), and I like them!

My sister's weighing scale had me panicked - it said I gained back in one week the weight I lost. A weigh-in using a different scale told me otherwise, tempting me to throw my sister's scale out the window (I didn't).

Got the chance to meet with friends from different periods of my life. Finally told them how the work situation's been here in the U.S. Their votes were unanimous - go back. They'll help me find a good job. The great thing is, I have friends who work in various fields. The bad thing is, I'd need a work visa or employment certification of sorts. I got alternately praised and scolded when my work life was discussed. They have such faith in my abilities, yet they wouldn't hesitate in telling me when I'm wasting my life away. Only goes to show you what good friends they are.

Had a blast hanging out with our U.P. friends on Christmas eve. Gran Matador Brandy, anyone? We downed one bottle before 6 a.m. and lived to tell the happy tale. We thought of going to U.P. for breakfast at Rodic's or even jogging around the academic oval, but it didn't happen. Come to think of it, just for this group of friends alone, it'll be worthwhile to go back to the Philippines. Add the others and all I can say is "oh my!"

Lastly, I had the chance to see how my mom and sister's daily routine goes. We were part of it for a short time, too short a time. I enjoyed staying in their house, going out for breakfast and/or lunch, even buying groceries. Finally met my sister's boyfriend. Yeah, we like him. *thumbs up*

All in all, this trip exceeded my expectations big time. Back in 2009, I fell in love again with the Philippines despite its obvious flaws and quirks (traffic!). That feeling never really went away. Like falling in love with someone, you take the good with the bad with the hope that the good outweighs the bad. Yes, I love the Philippines. I also love the U.S. As it is, I'm not even conflicted about my love for the two countries. It just is. I love them both. If there was a way to combine what I love from both countries into one place, that would be fantastic. I'd move to that place in a heartbeat.

Merry Christmas to everyone!

2011-12-24T17:03:00.000-05:00

It's early morning on Christmas Day as I write this post.

Our friends left awhile ago. We had a mini get-together at my parents' place. Everyone really did a great job, especially my mom, my sister Lynn and her boyfriend.

For the longest time, it felt like I needed an energy pack à la "Mafia Wars". Tonight, I've had my fill.

Thank you for family and friends.

Be Thankful 1st

2011-12-01T23:11:00.005-05:00

It's finally the first of December 2011. Wow. Just like that. *snaps fingers*

Since it's the first of the new yet last month, I thought I'd blog about gratitude. A belated Thanksgiving post of sorts about stuff I'm grateful for right now. THIS VERY MOMENT.

I'm thankful for:

Family. My side. His side. Everyone came together and pitched in, so we can go home this month. We almost didn't go - $2,000 per person airfare was no laughing matter. We didn't want to charge it to our credit cards either. We want those paid off. But it was a wedding, a family get-together, after all. I was willing to stay behind while my husband goes home. But no. I was told that I should be there. It's a family thing. Every possible expense we'll rack up that's wedding-related was a non-issue. Someone was going to take care of it. Yeah, even my gown, hair and makeup. My side, his side - everyone made sure that they covered all bases, leaving me no room to say no. I've always found it easy to be generous to others, but being on the receiving end of other people's generosity is something that makes me feel iffy. This time around, I learned to accept what's offered with a grateful heart and spirit. With such generosity from family, how can I continue to say no? I learned that not accepting other people's generosity is itself a selfish act.

My professors. This semester was challenging, way too challenging. Even better, they're supportive of what I can do. When I express to them what I can't do, they push me to try it. They push me out of my comfort level. Then it turns out, I can actually do a pretty good job of it. Here's a sample of my video work (yeah, I haven't done video in AGES, so this was challenging). What's more, when I told them that I'd miss the final classes since I'm going to the Philippines, their response? "Of course that's not a problem." "It's family. You have to be there." "You actually thought of not going?" "You can't miss it. What will your in-laws say?" Last statement made me laugh.

New friends. I started school back in August, not knowing anyone in class. I remember the first session or two, the classroom was so quiet. Everyone typed away at their laptops, not talking to one another. Now, our professors have to announce, "ahem, ahem! We're glad you guys like discussing things together but class is about to start."

Varied work experiences. This year, I found myself working different jobs. Met really nice folks (as well as the odd cranky one). Some jobs, I really liked, but it's too bad that they really didn't pay much. Others made me realize that yes, I do have values that I stand up for...then promptly left. I realize the economy's still crappy, so I'm just really thankful for getting these assignments.

Reconciliation. Not sure how this one came about, but surprisingly, some relationships of mine are healing - relationships that I really didn't have much hope in and honestly, gave up on. But life is full of surprises. I've always said that when people exert effort in maintaining some form of contact with me, I'll reciprocate. So that's what I'm doing.

I realize people have different motivations in their lives. Mine's so simple that it seems funny. Love is the fuel that keeps me going.

I'm thankful for the people who I love and who loves me in return.

Thanksgiving - my 3rd favorite holiday

2011-11-25T00:21:00.000-05:00

The first two being Christmas and New Year's Eve/Day.

What do I like about Thanksgiving?

It's all-encompassing. Whatever your religion is, you can celebrate Thanksgiving.

Businesses shut down. Well...except places that do Black Friday specials that start the night before.

It's family time sans the materialism that seems to come with Christmas.

Hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving!

"BOATLIFT, An Untold Tale of 9/11 Resilience"

2011-11-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

This video was shown to us in class. What an amazing story.

11/11/11

2011-11-11T12:25:00.000-05:00

"‎~ The Meaning 0f 11.11.11 ~

"All over the world people will gather in ceremonies, rituals, meditations or prayers on November 11th. They will come together in homes, coliseums, sacred centers, holy or ancient sites, and in small and large groups. They will use sound, breath, instruments, or visualization to invoke an outpouring of energetic and spiritual light. Their collective intentions are to seed the atmosphere in and around the world that will bring peace, harmony, and balanced living for today's children as well as for future generations yet to come to earth.

"So why is the date significant, and what's so important about this series of repetitive numbers on our calendars? Because 11.11.11, is the eleventh time since January 1st 2001 (1.1.1) that a date representing a month, day or year, repeats itself on the calendar. Because the numbers repeat three times, the date creates a visual marker not only on the calendar but also in human consciousness. It's a rare occurrence that will not come again for one hundred years. Interestingly, in that span of time, four generations will be born, will live out their lives, and will die. Most may never realize why the dates are important or what they mean.

"The Meaning of the Numbers 11.11.11

"To all appearances, the date 11.11.11 is simply a month, day and year on a physical calendar. But there is a transcendental aspect about the vibration of numbers that we seldom consider. Each of the sequence of repetitive dates on the calendar (1.1.1, 2.2.2, 3.3.3 through 12.12.12) hold a unique meaning and power based on symbolic numerological interpretations. But the numbers 11.11.11 are particularly significant. The number 1 represents the Creator-God, the masculine energy setting itself into the outer world, creating new beginnings. When that number 1 resonates and repeats itself, it becomes 11 which is a "Master Vibration Number" that means The Spiritual Messenger. It is the messenger that brings revelation and inspiration from a higher plain. This spiritual vibration is the architect of brotherly love on a grand or global scale.

"The power of the number is even more intensified this year because on November 11, 2011 (11.11.11) the number resonates three times as a "Master Triune Number." Due to the rarity of its occurrence on the calendar, a high frequency master triune number has the ability, through its visible nature, to open a palpable awareness in each of us. As the collective consciousness of individuals becomes more familiar with it, the refined energy behind the visible awakens and speaks to our souls. That activity opens a portal or a doorway causing a discernible sound deep inside that represents the Divine Spirit awakening in each of us. We hear that calling on different sensory levels and respond to it - though all that was visible was a date on the calendar proclaiming 11.11.11.

"The Year 2011

"Though the focus is on 11.11.11, the year 2011 should be addressed. In numerology, the year 2011 is a 4 (2+1+1=4). 4 represents form, foundation, and structure. It is spirit manifest into matter, or those things that bring everything "down to earth." 2011 is a turning point year where the Divine creative spirit, represented by 11.11.11, sets the foundation for what is to transpire in 2012 - the next generational surge of humanity and the beginning of the new Mayan Long Count Calendar. We are fortunate to be alive at the beginning of the 21st Century, witnessing one of those once every 100 year decades (2001-2012) where consciousness has been elevated enough so that the repetitive dates can be recognized and celebrated. That is the ultimate power and magnificence of the date: 11.11.11.

"How and Where to Celebrate 11.11.11

"We however, are fortunate to be alive at the beginning of the 21st century, witnessing one of those once every 100 year decades (2001 - 2012) of calendar-repetitive dates. Because 2011 is the last full year before the launch of the end of the Mayan Long Count calendar of 2012, spiritual leaders, teachers, and visionaries have elected to hold 11.11.11 sacred. On this vortex date, when so many are attuned to it, it's easier to summon groups to ceremonies that uplift spiritually and that create a consciousness of global communion, harmony and peace.

"Gatherings are set in places all around the world, from Egypt to India, from Peru to Central America. Some are meeting at sacred sites, in civic centers, in concert halls, and still others in smaller groups. There are even internet-connected meditations that will be held online. If you don't know of a ceremony near you, Google 11.11.11 and I'm sure you'll find something.

"The Intentions of the Ceremonies

"These ceremonies are a call to like-minded souls. The call is about becoming one with the vibration of shared intentions so that a magnificent sound, created on behalf of the people of earth, is activated in all of us. This vibration will set into the ether, a geometric pattern through which consciousness will be imprinted long before it is manifested into form. The intention of the gatherings is to seed a strong foundation which will support a raised consciousness in the times to come.

"In this once in 100 years moment in time the opportunity presents itself to transform global and personal consciousness through the sacred resonance of sound, thought and intention. It can become a personal commitment for all those seeking to unite in a large energetic field of conscious awakening. Let us who make the commitment be the vanguard that sets this new earth and new human into the etheric field. Together we'll create the ones we've been waiting for.

Via ~ "Realm of Tranquility"

6

2011-11-07T07:37:00.003-05:00

Happy 6th blog birthday, Vanilla-Caramel!

Six years ago, I decided to take the plunge into the world of blogging. Since then, I've had a number of blogs - some are still active thanks to my sisters; others have fallen by the wayside because it doesn't feel relevant anymore. For quite sometime, I felt like Vanilla-Caramel has reached its end. I was barely blogging. If I wasn't going to blog, what's the point of having it? I thought of deleting it, but somehow, I couldn't get around to doing it.

Last September, I changed its look. Maybe a new look will breathe new life into it. Or at least, maybe it will get me to blog again. But I can't let it go. Not yet. Vanilla-Caramel remains my blog baby, despite it being the eldest of the blogs I've had. It has seen me through the ups and downs of my life - nice and quiet times, as well as the dramatic and the tumultuous. Vanilla-Caramel is my little place, my little nook in this vast online world. Sure, there's Facebook and Twitter, but trust me, it's not the same.

So here's to Vanilla-Caramel...live long and prosper. You're still the one blog that feels home to me, and which I'll keep going back to. :) Cheers!

Exactly

2011-11-04T11:49:00.000-04:00

Truth is stranger than fiction

2011-11-02T22:47:00.000-04:00

Thanks for freaking me out, Lei! Your post gave me the goosebumps big time! Amazing that you remember that experience so vividly.

Just so you know, our Zack's hind legs is longer than his front legs...ha ha!

11/1/11

2011-11-01T12:03:00.001-04:00

Today's date really fascinates me. I've been waiting for it, as well as 1/1/11, 1/11/11, 11/11/11 and 11/20/2011. Not really sure why. Chances are, I'll probably be the same way next year - 1/2/12 and 12/12/12. :)

What else?

Good news! I got good grades for the two completed courses! *do the dance of joy* What an utter relief! At some point, it felt overwhelming. Like I was too old to be studying...ha ha ha! Now I hope to do well on the current subjects that I'm taking. *crosses fingers*

Anyway, today being the first day of the new month, I really hope November will be a great month for all of us. It's been unusual here in the East Coast. August 23, 2011 - earthquake. August 27, 2011 - Hurricane Irene. October 29, 2011 - winter snowstorm during autumn. So many people still have no power in their homes. It's awful. The least we can do is share our home with my siblings whose homes remain power-less to this day. My only hope is that there aren't any folks who got seriously hurt.

To those who checked out my new blog (you know who you are), THANK YOU.

new blog: The Intermediary Life!

2011-10-30T13:21:00.001-04:00

I've got a new blog to share with you all today.

The Intermediary Life

It's actually a course requirement. We're supposed to write six blog posts for class, but I've decided to take it a step further. No one has commented on my blog yet, which made me wonder if what I wrote actually made sense. I mean, it surely made sense to me. :) Feel free to drop by, visit and comment away. I'd love to hear your thoughts on what I share. Thank you!

a-ha!

2011-10-19T13:12:00.002-04:00

"Choose one book that we've discussed and do a presentation about it as your final project."

I confess, I was stumped. What did they want? What were we supposed to DO? Every meeting, some of my classmates would bug them about it. "What's the presentation all about?" Our professors just said, "you've read the books. Choose one."

Final presentations were completed last night. I admit, some presentations impressed me content-wise. Creative juices flowed. That's when I had my "a-ha!" moment. We're in grad school. We're there to push ourselves to think more, conceptualize more and yes, execute our ideas more. It's not for them to tell us what and how to think. That was the unspoken challenge. Now I see the wisdom in it.

A step at a time

2011-10-14T00:29:00.001-04:00

My first two classes for the current semester is nearly done. Two more are about to start. The past week or two, I've been running around like a chicken without its head (not that I've ever seen one, but I've heard it happens). Final projects are just challenging and exciting.

However, I've been at the receiving end of hostility from a female group mate. Mind you, she's only hostile to me, but deferring to the two guys in our group. It even reached the point that she e-mailed our professor to let him in on our group's supposed lack of direction and leadership (we assumed she was the group leader because she's been bossing us around), apart from saying she's doing all the work (not true). Tonight, we had the chance to clear the air. She apologized after I told her, "I feel like I can't say anything without you jumping down on my throat. Every suggestion I make, you shoot it down immediately." Now, after our client accepted a suggestion I came up with, suddenly I'M the new leader. How that happened, I've no clue.

Nevertheless, this group project made me realize the value of taking things a step at a time. And yes, always speak up for yourself. Otherwise, people will try to step all over you.

What to write?

2011-10-12T23:35:00.000-04:00

I've been sitting and staring at this monitor, desperately wanting to blog but somehow, nothing's really coming to mind. Ugh. Everyday, something happens, a thought occurs and I think, "I should blog about this!" Then when I get home, I end up not doing that. I hate it when I can't get into the blog writing groove. Grrr.

"God wants you to know..."

2011-09-24T09:59:00.000-04:00

"On this day of your life, Cecilia, we believe God wants you to know ... that you weren't created to be a failure.

Sure some things may not have worked out and there have been some disappointments. But all these things helped guide you in a direction that was meant for you. Your life has purpose and significance. Try to be patient if it isn't all crystal clear just yet. For now, just know that you weren't created to fail."

It's always good to be reminded. :)

"I Believe"

2011-09-24T00:47:00.000-04:00

My sister Lani got me started on the original cast recording of "The Book of Mormon". I listen to it every now and then, but it was only last weekend when I really listened. Sure, I laugh like an idiot when I hear it (such irreverence!), but having the soundtrack played repeatedly made certain songs stand out. Like this one, for instance.

I've been listening to this song so often lately, it's practically coming out of my ears. I'm including the lyrics below. I'm not a Mormon, of course. But I like how the song's written - funny and serious at the same time. Yeah, I'm definitely all for religious tolerance. I even stumbled upon a blog post about the song written by someone who's actually a Mormon.

Anyway, here's "I Believe" from "The Book of Mormon" (Broadway).

"I Believe"

Ever since I was a child, I tried to be the best
So what happened?
My family and friends all said I was blessed
So what happened?

It was supposed to be all so exciting
To be teaching of Christ 'cross the sea
But I allowed my faith to be shaken
Oh, what's the matter with me?

I've always longed to help the needy
To do the things I never dared
This was the time for me to step up
So then why was I so scared?

A warlord who shoots people in the face
What's so scary about that?
I must trust that my Lord is mightier
And always has my back

Now I must be completely devout
I can't have even one shred of doubt

I believe that the Lord God created the universe
I believe that he sent his only son to die for my sins
And I believe that ancient Jews built boats
And sailed to America
I am a Mormon and a Mormon just believes

You cannot just believe part way
You have to believe in it all
My problem was doubting the Lord's will
Instead of standing tall

I can't allow myself to have any doubt
It's time to set my worries free
Time to show the world what Elder Price is about
And share the power inside of me

I believe that God has a plan for all of us
I believe that plan involves me getting my own planet
And I believe that the current President of the Church
Thomas Monson, speaks directly to God
I am a Mormon
And, dang it, a Mormon just believes
(A Mormon just believes)

I know that I must go and do the things my God commands
(Things my God commands)
I realize now why he sent me here
If you ask the Lord in faith, he will always answer you
Just believe in him and have no fear
(General, we have an intruder, He just walked right into camp)

I believe that Satan has a hold of you
I believe that the Lord God has sent me here
And I believe that in 1978
God changed his mind about black people
(Black people)
You can be a Mormon
A Mormon who just believes

(The f*** is this?)

And now I can feel the excitement
This is the moment I was born to do
And I feel so incredible to be sharing my faith with you
The scriptures say that if you ask in faith
If you ask God himself, you'll know
But you must ask him without any doubt
And let your spirit grow
(Let your spirit grow)

I believe that God lives on a planet called Kolob
I believe that Jesus has his own planet as well
And I believe that the Garden of Eden
Was in Jackson County, Missouri

If you believe, the Lord will reveal it
And you'll know it's all true, you'll just feel it
You'll be a Mormon
And, by gosh, a Mormon just believes
(A Mormon just believes)
(Just believe, a Mormon just believes)
Oh, I believe
(Just believe, a Mormon just)
I believe
(Believes)

Back to school

2011-09-18T14:42:00.000-04:00

After years of not being in school, I'm back. Goodness, it feels good to be back. All thanks to "The Optimist's Creed". Particularly this line: "I promise myself to give so much time to improving myself that I have no time to criticize others." Last time I was in school was back in the late 90s. Then it was all work, work, work.

Now I go to school 6 hours per week. I work 30 hours per week. Add to that our photography business. I'm still figuring out how to manage my time well. Doing my assignments and sleeping early prove challenging. I like reading and writing at night, but I end up sleeping late. I've never been an early sleeper (the earliest I sleep is 12 a.m.), but I've got to re-work my sleeping habits if I intend to stay healthy and well-rested. That means doing homework way earlier than the day before the actual class, of course. :) Yet another challenge!

Why did you go back to school? Not finishing my masters education back in the Philippines has been a humongous regret for the longest time (just ask my husband). Especially since I already passed the comprehensive exam and reached the thesis part. But life sent me an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. The thesis got kicked to the curbside. Eventually, the school's residency period expired, leaving me without the masters degree. After all the hard work I already put in.

Why did it take this long to study again? I've always had it in my head that "studying in the US costs an arm and a leg". Wish I can say that's false, but it's so true. I considered going back to the Philippines and studying there again. But when I inquired and it seemed like I have to jump through hoops, I decided to apply here just to see what would happen. Considered 10 schools, narrowed it to five, three and finally, two. When I got accepted by the school in my #1 spot, "the die was cast", so to speak. I thought of waiting for #2, but good sense took over. If my #1 choice accepted me, why on earth was I waiting for #2?

Isn't it expensive? Darn straight it is. I'm still on the look-out for scholarships, grants, etc. for the coming semesters. So if you guys know of any, HOLLER. The current work I'm doing pays enough for my share of the bills, but not at the same rate I used to get (yeah, talk about underpaid. what can we do? bad economy). Studying again's my way of investing in me. Hopefully, I'll get a nice return.

And that, my friends, is the reason why I'm quiet again. :)

Remembering 9/11/01..."New York in Chaos"

2011-09-11T10:31:00.000-04:00

I wrote this on the night of 9/11/01. Time stamp on this document was 9:30PM. I wrote it because at that time, I was trying to make sense of it all. Some of you might've seen it already, I e-mailed this to those who were asking how we were doing. I'm sharing this today. Like everyone, I remember that day clearly.

* * * * *

New York in chaos

The day started normally for me. I woke up ahead of Euge, took a bath then got ready for work. Euge normally drops me off at the subway station close to his work, but today, everything was messed up with our schedule. Everywhere we went, nothing but traffic.

Euge & I parted ways about 8:45. I took a cab to get to the UN as my work starts at 9. The cab driver was tuned in to a Spanish radio station. I understood enough Spanish (thank goodness) to know that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center. At that time, only one plane had crashed. I arrived in the office at 9 a.m. I saw the thick black smoke from my office window. By 9:30, they were telling us to go either to the basement or outside the UN building. I grabbed my backpack and started running up to the 34th floor where my other officemates were. Then we waited for the elevators, only to find out that they turned off all elevators. Led by the director of our Division, we started going down the stairs. Imagine walking from 32nd floor all the way up the 34th floor, then finally going down to the first floor using the staircase! By the time we reached the first floor, my legs were shaking out of both fear and exhaustion. Only goes to show you, it’s not a good idea to work in skyscrapers.

We stayed outside the lawn waiting for further instructions. Around past 10, we were told to go home. Right then and there, one of the lawyers in our office, Nicola, pulled me aside and told me we should go home immediately. There were no trains, no buses, and no means of leaving the city except by foot. What happened next seemed like something out of a movie. People were all walking in the streets, in droves, some scared, but most with shocked expressions on their faces. Other vehicles were in a rush to get out of the city. Everyone in the streets had cellular phones glued to their ears, to no avail. No cell phone signals, no phone service, nothing to keep you in touch with those you hold dear. Whenever we'd hear a noise that resembles an aircraft, I would look up and think of what I'll do if it turned out to be another plane ready to crash on to another building.

I walked the streets of Manhattan from 42nd Street to 59th Street, and then crossed the Queensboro Bridge, finally reaching Long Island City where Euge works. It took hours. Unfortunately, I had no idea where his work was. I called him from a payphone but got his voice mail. I told him where we were and he eventually found me. Then we went to drop off my two office mates. It was an unsettling scene that greeted us on the streets. The streets were crowded with people! Some people were holding up signs to passing vehicles indicating where they were headed, hoping for a ride.

While on the Queensboro Bridge, we kept looking back to where the World Trade Center used to be. It saddens me terribly. They changed not only the landscape of Manhattan, but also the very core of us. How can this have happened? How come it was not prevented? How many lives were lost in such a senseless act of violence?

I'm not saying the US should be exempt from such occurrences. What outrages me is the audacity of those who planned this and successfully executed this. LIVES were lost, numerous lives whose only mistake had been (a) to board the aircrafts; (b) to go to work; or (c) to see WTC.

Mayor Giuliani said in a press conference tonight that we should treat tomorrow in the same way we treat snowstorms - do not go to the city unless you really have to.

In my mind, everything’s in a standstill. It's so unreal. The thought that keeps running in my mind is, "It's like a movie."

But only a bad movie will allow two buildings to collapse the way the World Trade Center did. Only a bad movie will allow people to DIE this way. Only a bad movie will create such a perfect setting - sunny day, clear skies - just to let two monstrous aircrafts ram straight into buildings with thousands of people inside.

It was frightening.

I'm still shaken, definitely shaken.

Please pray for us here.

Cecile

So we watch "True Blood"...

2011-09-10T22:52:00.000-04:00

I ♥ these two men.

Alexander Skarsgård plays Eric Northman

Joe Mangianello plays Alcide Herveaux

And this bad-ass break-up line...yes, the photo on the right was from the episode where the line came from.

Alcide: "Debbie Pelt, I abjure you. I see you no longer. I hunt with you no longer. I share flesh with you no longer."

(photos from True Blood's Facebook page)

She's moved on

2011-09-07T05:00:00.000-04:00

Way back in 2009, I blogged about this person I know who lost her job, etc. (see here). As a virtual friend, we've never met in person, but we're in each other's FB and Twitter friend lists. I also read her blog every now and then. Nowadays, reading her blog and Twitter updates just makes me happy. Since she was having a tough time finding a job here in the US, she went to Italy and stayed with relatives for a bit of time. After that, she applied to graduate school in Paris and is currently studying there.

I remember what happened with her job in NY before, and knowing how far she's come now is just astounding. She's moved on in more ways than one. She's a constant reminder that there are always new books and new chapters ahead for all of us. All we have to do is hang in there.

She's afloat

2011-09-04T07:43:00.004-04:00

Her words, not mine. This post is for my blog friend Lene who recently blogged about her love dilemma. We've never met in person (hope we'll change that!), but we've chatted via YM.

Lene, what's here is too long to post as a comment to your post. I hope you don't mind. Anyway, here goes...

You've had the chance to be with him late, so that's great since you've been missing him. He's your best friend and he happens to be a guy. Somehow, you find yourself feeling feelings for him. Afraid of ruining the friendship? Should you take a chance and go out on a limb?

Yes! Go for it. Don't run away from love. Get out of your comfort zone. The playing field is wide! Give love a chance. Learn to ask for what you want. If you're going down, at least you went down telling the truth, instead of denying it to yourself. Tell him, tell him, tell him.

No! Hell no! Zip it, keep it to yourself, leave things alone. Goodness, you're friends! Friendships last longer than romantic entanglements. Why mess up a good thing? Let him remain your dear p're. Be strong. Be brave. Do not cross the friendship line puh-lease!

Maybe? You've been friends with him for so long, right? Maybe you're shy to bring up the issue? How about dropping hints? Mention "I'm-in-love-with-my-best-friend" themed movies. Even better, watch it together. See how he reacts. Does he go all "ooooh! yeah, that's great"? Or does he go, "geez, that's all levels of stupid. I'd hate for that to happen in real life." If he reacts positively, tell him. If he doesn't want to ruin your friendship, just say it's just taking that friendship a step further. If he doesn't feel the same way (ouch!), at least you were honest to yourself and to him. Treat him like he's a person worth being honest to. I wrote this somewhere else before, "It’s a mark of a good friendship when two persons get past such situations. It can be awkward at first, but people do get over it."

Of course, you know him better than I do. Whatever you decide is totally up to you. Good luck!

Some kind of cute

2011-09-03T22:10:00.001-04:00

Did I surprise you with the new look of my blog? Did I? I sure hope I did!

I did not forewarn you guys about this change simply because I thought about it just 2 hours ago. Instead of heehawing, twiddling my thumbs, wondering whether I should or shouldn't, I went for it without thinking too much about it. I Googled "free blogger templates", saw a whole caboodle of them, liked some and ended up with Trendy Girl Designs' free template Citrus Delight. I like most of her free blogger templates, but this one caught my eye in particular. Check the header. See the bird with the flower? :) Cuuuuute!

TGD's Installation and Terms of Use doesn't allow changes in any way, so this is it. I can't really imagine changing anything since I like it. Thanks, TGD!

If you think this look seems too girly-girly for me, OH WELL. :) My sister Lynn actually designed a whole bunch of circles like the ones in the background for me weeks ago for our business' Twitter page. In the end, she designed a fitting background, so that cute background went unused. Imagine my surprise when I saw this layout - similar but not the same, of course.

I've been wanting to change this blog's look for the longest time, but never had that urge to seriously do so. Until tonight. Not really sure why I'm into circles and dots lately, but I am. So what do you think of this new look?

A helluva week

2011-08-28T17:15:00.000-04:00

Let's start with me turning a year older last Saturday (not yesterday, the Saturday before that). Then Mother Nature decided that we east coast folks need some shaking up (earthquake last Tuesday) and some cleaning up as well (Hurricane Irene yesterday and today). I can look at all three events as just bad news, right? Not a lot of people enjoy turning a year old. What's more, who actually likes earthquakes and hurricanes? But somehow, I can't find it in me to see the bad in them.

My birthday turned out fabulously. Ended up with a surprise birthday celebration that was included with my niece's graduation party. Everyone pretty much kept me in the dark, which made the surprise all the more surprising and yes, fun. I even had my favorite cake! So I can't complain about that. The way I see it, if you don't grow old, it means you're dead. So I'm only too happy to turn a year older. :)

As for last Tuesday's earthquake, sure I was the voice of experience in the office. Turns out some of them have never experienced an earthquake before. They didn't know what was going on. I was the one who said, "yes, this is an earthquake. Let's go." Then we all scooted out of the building. Less than a minute can feel like forever when you're experiencing an earthquake. I've said it before and I say it again, nothing like an earthquake to remind you of what's important and what's not. I called up and/or texted family immediately to check how they were.

As for Hurricane Irene, my husband and I prepared like everyone else. How can we not? Federal, state and local officials were bombarding us with messages to prepare. Now I'm getting irritated because some folks are saying how it was boring, how nothing happened, and how things were exaggerated. Perspective, people! If you have the chance to complain and whine, it means you're safe and sound at home! Folks should just grow up. How can these folks say nothing happened? Maybe it's more appropriate for them to say nothing happened to THEM, because Irene definitely affected a lot of people out there. Right now, I'm just very thankful that Hurricane Irene turned out to be less than expected. The alternative would've been so much worse.

There you have it, folks. Here's to a quieter week ahead. Hopefully, Mother Nature will take it easy in the meantime.

Defeated

2011-08-17T14:28:00.000-04:00

I feel sad when I detect a palpable sense of defeat in people I know.

On Forgiveness

2011-08-15T14:49:00.000-04:00

"Forgive them for they don't know what they're doing."

OK, I get that.

But what about those who DO know what they're doing?

afraid to feel what they feel

2011-08-12T06:16:00.001-04:00

It seems more people are afraid to let themselves feel what they feel. Especially when the feelings are negative. Because when they allow themselves to feel their feelings, they end up judging themselves. As if allowing themselves to feel angry, hurt, disappointed, furious, etc. will make them negative persons. And if by any chance you allow yourself to feel those things, other people will judge you as a negative person as well.

The way I see it, better to face my feelings just to be done with it. Stop living in denial. There's nothing wrong with having negative emotions. Just make sure that you don't end up wallowing in it. Sweeping these things under the rug will just bite you in the backside. Maybe not now, but it'll definitely do so in the future.

Common courtesy's extinct

2011-08-10T15:12:00.001-04:00

Yeah, that's what I think. Seriously.

Was it common in the first place? I don't know.

I called two friends from high school. Just to check up on them, say hello...nothing really exciting. Maybe it's more a friendship-health-status-checking thing. I left voice mails. One forwarded an e-mail the same day, so that seems the reply to my call. The other one, nothing. Me? Slightly irritated.

Disconnect

2011-08-08T07:19:00.002-04:00

"Have you ever called someone up and you're disappointed when they answer the phone? You wanted the machine. And you're always kind of thrown off. You go, 'Oh I uh, I, didn't know you were there, I just wanted to leave a message saying, 'Sorry I missed you.'"
~ Jerry Seinfeld

Keep it real

2011-08-06T19:08:00.000-04:00

While out to lunch today, I realized why people who present their lives as if it's one Hallmark moment after another make me wanna vomit. Or at the very least, roll my eyes to the ceiling. I'm not a big fan of Smug Marrieds and Smug Singles. Why, on some days when I'm feeling cranky (yeah, it happens), I want to wipe that smirk off their faces. On the other hand, I hate drama queens, drama kings, drama princes and drama princesses. Give me the court jester anytime.

When I hear about people's struggles and then see how they're making things work despite the struggles, I get impressed. It's like watching from the sidelines as people try to make sense of the challenges that get thrown their way. It astounds me when they emerge victorious. I want to cheer for them. When the people involved are close friends, I beam with pride at knowing these people. At the same time, when I hear about people's good fortunes, I can't help but feel ecstatic on their behalf as well. I'd be all happy, you'd think the good fortune happened to me.

It's certain people who I've got a beef with - those who sing endless hallelujahs on how everything is just. frickin. perfect. I get suspicious. "Really? For real?" Because life doesn't always come up roses and chocolates. Some days, there are dark clouds, thunder and rain.

Puh-lease.

When I see people sharing the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, it makes them seem more human, more real. Anything in extreme is just weird. I know there are good days, bad days, neutral days, I-just-wanna-pull-off-my-hair days in extreme exasperation. I'd like a fine balance, really, but that might be too much to ask for. So let's keep it real, folks. That's all.

Color me flattered

2011-07-22T00:11:00.002-04:00

A highschool friend and I just finished chatting. She has a daughter and she was asking me about what to do with her child.

Yes, my jaw dropped indeed.

Here's someone who's been a mom for years, asking someone like me who doesn't have a child (well, a human child) on how to deal with her child. Of course, before I responded, I told her that she knows more about that than I do (one's gotta be truthful before giving out advice). But she said that I'm smart. Why does it matter whether or not I have a child? And yes, she did say I gave her pretty good ideas and sound suggestions, which she'll actually go for with her kid.

Color me flattered.

deleted

2011-07-14T15:56:00.000-04:00

I blogged awhile ago, venting and all that. Then I had the chance to sit down and take a deep breath. What did I realize?

Today's actually a pretty good day. So far, mostly good news have been coming my way. What's one judgmental person compared to good news? It's nothing, right? What's more, that person doesn't even know me. So why let it bother me?

After all, there are so many things to be thankful for.

So I deleted that earlier post. It doesn't have any room in my life. It doesn't deserve a space in my blog. I shouldn't even pay that much attention to it.

A shout-out to my husband for keeping things in perspective.

"Where would you wish to wake up tomorrow?"

2011-07-10T22:48:00.000-04:00

Earth Hour's FB page posted that question, including the video "Fifty People, One Question: Brooklyn". I definitely liked the video. What's more, I love the question. It's a good question to think about.

Harry Potter...

2011-07-08T11:29:00.000-04:00

...can make me come out of hibernation. :)

Yes, I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 World Premiere Live Stream. Twice, in fact. Tonight marks the beginning of my Harry Potter Movie Marathon (one movie per day) until the 15th. I've started re-reading (for the nth time) the seventh book. Hubby already bought the tickets for the midnight showing next week. Changed my FB profile pic. Cried like a baby at the last part of the world premiere (it's here).

While preparing dinner last night, I told hubby that with the seventh book, Snape suddenly appealed to gals, what with his undying love for Lily. Walang kamatayang pag-ibig. He became Mr. Hot Stuff. Even imagined Snape nearly fainting when he saw Harry for the first time...with Lily's eyes. :D

Anyway, I can't wait, can't wait, can't wait to watch the last movie!

"Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home." ~ J.K. Rowling

K dramas

2011-06-24T01:27:00.001-04:00

It started with "Personal Taste" that led to "Boys Over Flowers" followed by "Playful Kiss", "Secret Garden", "Coffee Prince" and the most recent one that we finished yesterday, "My Lovely Sam Soon". We're still watching "City Hunter".

Now why are we watching these shows, you may ask.

The translations are, at times, wonky and leaves much to be desired. Reading the text at the bottom of the screen is hardly fun. You also have to stick around for an hour, in fact.

The plot? Hmmm...there's always a rich boy and a poor girl. They hate each other's guts. Rich boy is always socially and emotionally awkward, and yes, even mean. Then it becomes a case of "the more you hate, the more you love." Suddenly, rich boy and poor girl find themselves falling for each other. Oh, and poor girl's so hardworking - she works many jobs yet is never seen as cranky or tired, always positively cheerful. Rich boy's rich mom finds out that her rich boy's in love with poor girl, so she gets in the way of their love. Tries everything to separate the lovers, including attempts to pay off poor girl so she'll leave rich boy alone. Poor girl though poor is never tempted to accept. There's always a love triangle. Sometimes, they even have a romantic rectangle! Have I mentioned the parade of great homes and excellent cars?

Sure, I do like that they try to inject girl power messages. But I wish they'd stop using those tired plots. Seriously, always a witch of a mama? No proper explanation why she's that way? Ugh. Something new please.

Yet we continue to watch. Initially, I was attracted by the overall production quality. They spend money on making these shows, and it shows. I remember the first time I watched "Personal Taste". Charmed by its lead actor Lee Min Ho (yes, I adore him), I was surprised by how good the overall look of the show was. Nowadays, I still watch these because they make me laugh. Maybe some things get lost in translation, but I don't care. All I know is, it entertains. Isn't that what television's all about in the first place?

Facebook as memorial...bye Chinette :(

2011-06-10T21:55:00.003-04:00

I've alternately been amused, entertained and annoyed by Facebook. But lately, it's been useful since our friend in the Philippines passed away.

We met Chinette when we went home in 2009. It was the first time she met us, but she really went the extra mile for us. She was accommodating, kindhearted and overall, just a nice person. She was my sister-in-law's best friend, yet we all managed to establish a friendship with her in such a short amount of time.

She didn't like getting photographed, and I remember sneaking around, trying to catch her unaware. She and her boyfriend even accompanied us when we went to Boracay. That way, we wouldn't be mistaken for tourists what with my other SIL looking Korean, me looking Chinese and my husband looking Japanese. The next day, she left at 6am to take an hour-long bus ride to work. Immediately after work, she joined us in Boracay again. She heard me wondering where we can get piaya, and brought us where I bought piayas to my heart's content. She overheard my husband saying he wanted some iced drink he remembers from his youth. If not for the lack of time, she wanted us to get it too. She was THAT sort of person. I kept telling my husband how lucky my SIL was for having such a friend. That type of a friend is incredibly difficult to find.

After we got back here, we kept in touch via...where else?...Facebook. Her status updates were funny, insightful, and yes, full of positivity. She even bought me a book, and we were going to hang out again this coming December, with plans to eat at a restaurant that serves amazing bangus sisig.

Then we received a truly sad phone call the other day. Chinette passed away. No one knew the whole story. We were in a conference call, but we all fell silent. She was so young, and she was doing so much good. Off we were to visit her Facebook profile. We left messages, despite knowing that Chinette won't be able to read it. To this day, her Wall's bombarded by messages. I've noticed a theme, really. Everyone's talking about her kindness and generosity of spirit. Which is a testament to our own experiences with her. Which also meant that she was naturally that giving. My SIL's just devastated. My husband and I are still in shock, not really knowing what to say or do. Suddenly, Facebook's helping us preserve memories of her. I posted a photo of her - a candid shot. It was how I remember her. But there's no looking forward to more future photos with her or of her. Nevertheless, I really am thankful and lucky to have known her. If only it didn't feel like such an incredibly terrible loss.

She will be laid to rest on June 20. Rest in peace, Chinette. Thank you for being our friend too. ‎

"All God's angels come to us disguised." ~James Russell Lowell

On friendships

2011-06-01T13:34:00.002-04:00

"There are three types of friends: those like food, without which you can't live; those like medicine, which you need occasionally; and those like an illness, which you never want."

"Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down."

My tour demands

2011-05-31T16:47:00.000-04:00

So Katy Perry has some interesting demands while on tour eh? (it's here.) I also saw this. Now what would I demand if I was on tour too? Let me see...*strokes my (thankfully) non-existent beard thoughtfully*

OK, here's my list...and yes, it's all in good fun.

- One economy round-trip non-stop airline ticket (Itinerary subject to my approval - must make sure I fly out of nearby airports, not airports located way too far. And yeah, I'm fine with economy, unless it's for international travel...ha ha ha!)

- All ground transportation from time of arrival to departure [includes round-trip transportation between hotel and location of performance, round-trip transportation between airport and hotel; and round-trip local transportation (town car/limo/SUV or shuttle)]. Parking arrangements at no cost to me.

- A non-smoking king bedroom at a five-star hotel with free breakfast and internet

- Dressing room: No smoking. It must be clean and private with a properly functioning bathroom. Comfortable table, chair, mirror, clean towels, and 110 outlet required.

- A fresh fruit and raw vegetable platter OR cheese and crackers platter

- A bag of chips – either Jack & Jill Chippy Barbeque, Pop Chips Original Potato, Kettle Brand Krinkle Cut Potato Chips - Salt & Fresh Ground Pepper, OR SunChips Original Flavor

- A pitcher of ice water (if a pitcher's not available, water bottles preferred)

- Fruit juices (apple or pomegranate juice)

- Tea (Bigelow's Cozy Chamomile or Chamomile Mint will suffice).

- A dog walker and clean pet bed for Zack – he's coming along on my tour

How about you? What'll be included in your Artist Rider?

Bad end of the deal

2011-05-30T22:11:00.002-04:00

We watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 yet again today. Man, I do feel sorry for the Snape.

Being in love with the same woman for years.
Watching the love of his life marry and have a kid with the hate of his life.
Protecting the kid who looks JUST LIKE HIS SWORN ENEMY, except for those darn green eyes.
Dealing with a bratty and tantrum-y mind-readin' Voldemort.
Being ordered to snuff out Dumbledore's life by Dumbledore himself just because.
Pretending to be on the bad side, just like a true blue spy.

Yes kids, life can be soooo unfair. You can suffer so much for love. And in the end, yeah, Nagini.

Goodness, it sucks to be Severus.

So true

2011-05-28T01:13:00.002-04:00

‎"Do not bring people in your life who weigh you down. And trust your instincts ... good relationships feel good. They feel right. They don't hurt. They're not painful. That's not just with somebody you want to marry, but it's with the friends that you choose. It's with the people you surround yourselves with."
~ Michelle Obama

I disagree

2011-05-24T16:42:00.000-04:00

A friend posted this in Facebook: ‎"Being nice to someone you dislike doesn't mean you're fake. It means you are mature enough to tolerate your dislike towards them."

About 4 persons "liked" it. I didn't.

Of course, she's more than entitled to be nice to people she dislikes. But it's just not my cup of tea. I've tried being nice to people who aren't. For me, it depends on how often I have to deal with them. If I only see them once in a blue moon, if I don't need to deal with them often, then it's easy. But if I deal with them often enough that it really feels like my teeth's getting pulled, then that's a completely different matter. Because really, I owe it to myself to be true to myself.

What do I do then?
Be civil. We don't need to be overly chummy. We don't need to be ice-cold to each other either. Just polite. I won't go to the extreme of being nice. Through the years, I've learned that some people aren't even worth that.

I don't go by that statement she posted. For me, part of maturity is accepting that you can't like and/or love everyone out there, and yes, also accepting that not everyone out there will like and/or love you too. That's just the way it is.

Another DIY project

2011-05-23T15:49:00.000-04:00

Another DIY project is a-brewin' in this mind of mine. This time, it's the utility room floor. I want to paint that floor using Rust-Oleum EPOXY SHIELD Basement Floor Coating. Preferably Tan Satin. Kinda like this project here. Of course, I still need to do more research on that. It looks doable, though I'm not sure how it looks up close.

If it did happen

2011-05-21T23:29:00.000-04:00

Breakfast: bacon and eggs with toast (I haven't eaten bacon in years!). Snack: fried dough. Dinner: clam strips with coleslaw and fries. If Rapture happened today, then it's good we ate what we wanted. Happy's the perfect way to go.

A Meeting with Dr. Gynecologist

2011-05-16T16:30:00.001-04:00

My husband and I have been married for almost ten years this year. As can be expected, people bug us about having kids and making assumptions that something's wrong. "Sino ba'ng merong problema?" (Simply stated, "Who's got fertility issues?")

I'm used to the constant bombardment - "are you pregnant?"..."when are you getting pregnant?"..."what on earth are you waiting for?"..."goodness, you're so old now, how can you carry your baby?"...etcetera, etcetera. I'm being the model of patience. I don't snap at people for asking those questions. I just laugh it off for the most part. Some days, I say, "ooooh! A challenge to my ovaries!" I understand the curiosity, though I wouldn't be caught dead doing the same thing to other folks I know. Their spawning isn't really any of my business anyway, unless they want me to be a godmother or something.

So it was a relief talking to my doctor because he just said, "you're fertile! What's there to worry about? Just relax and let nature take its course. It's a fun process anyway."

I told him that I wasn't worrying. In fact, other people were worrying on our behalf. (Oh, did I mention judging us as well? But that's another blog post.)

"Let them worry. People worry so much and it doesn't help. You do what's fun to do and let nature take care of things. Just think about having a baby. Sit down and talk about it. If you decide you want one, you have enough time. After all, it takes a couple 6-9 months to make a baby, plus add another 9 months for the actual pregnancy. The economy might be better then."

That's why I like him - he's not the sort who strikes fear in your heart.

"You're 36?" *scoffs* "You've got so much time to have a baby! Start taking folic acid already, so you're ready. Just eat healthy. Don't stress easily. Stay active, even just walks outside."

Our current attitude is like, "well, if I get pregnant, cute. If not, no big deal." But we're not panicking, monitoring every single thing or crying our eyes out.

Honestly, if and when I get pregnant, do you really think I'LL keep it a secret? Heck, I'll probably create a Facebook page during the whole experience, blog about it, and keep up a steady stream of photo updates. Who knows, I might even create a Twitter account just to keep people posted!

People just fret too much.

Walking

2011-05-13T12:48:00.000-04:00

I find myself thinking so many thoughts while out walking with Zack. The moment we step out of the front door, my mind's observing so many things.

"I can't believe our neighbor still hasn't dragged his trash bin inside his garage. Why the heck is it still by the curb?"

"I wonder how they know which plants to buy and plant in front of their place?"

"Ugh! There's that weird neighbor again!"

"Oh, look! A red bird up in the tree! I wonder what it's called."

I do find it very necessary to drag my mind back into simply enjoying the walk. It's amazing how the mind just goes off like that, even when you're attempting to relax and enjoy the moment. It takes serious effort to focus on the walk and how fun it is in its simplicity.

So...yeah

2011-05-10T23:54:00.000-04:00

I read this article tonight, "5 Shocking Ways You Overestimate Yourself", and learned about this blog.

Pie's Pretty Project

2011-05-07T00:01:00.001-04:00

Guess who joined my friend Pie's project "The Caravan of Beautiful People"?

Yep, you got it. ME. Here's my contribution to her ongoing blog project. Thanks, Pie for asking me to join your merry band of contributors. Until the next one comes along!

Crazy decorating bug

2011-05-05T15:07:00.001-04:00

I've recovered from my royal wedding fever.

What I haven't recovered from is this crazy decorating bug that bit me really hard. We've already painted two areas at home, but now I'm eyeing the two bathrooms and the kitchen too! Who's to stop me from painting the bathrooms and kitchen? No one! Well, maybe my husband, but he's nice - he wouldn't do that. Anyway, the thing is, I can't imagine having those rooms out of commission even for a day or two. How are we going to bathe and cook? *sighs* Gotta figure this out. I even want to try staining the kitchen cabinets, but I've never done that ever, so I'm hesitating. Anyone out there with experience doing that?

It doesn't end there. Did I mention I want to change the kitchen cabinets, appliances and fixtures? THAT change requires a stinkin' boatload of money to pull off though, so whatever. Off to the back burner it goes in the meantime.

I've been rummaging around the house for things to use in my decorating projects. Here's the deal: I want to decorate, but I don't want to spend. AT ALL. Yeah, I read the book "Use What You Have Decorating". I'm thinking if we'll spend money, it'll be for paint, new fixtures, etcetera. Not accessories. In fact, it's better to save it for a future major kitchen update. Now where was I? Oh yeah, if any of you have any ideas for a headboard (I think the guestroom bed deserves one), give me a shout-out please. I've considered wall decals like this, or even a fence panel like this, BUT it totally goes against my idea of cheap or free. Cheap or free = WIN. I've been scouring Craigslist like a nutcase. Soon, I'll be dragging my husband to estate and tag sales as well.

I'm definitely enjoying the challenge of decorating our place cost-effectively. It's easy to go to a store and buy something, but what's the fun in that? I want to do so much for so little. Oh HGTV, you're my best friend nowadays.

M&M wisdom

2011-05-02T21:09:00.003-04:00

Saw this when we went again to M&M's World New York.

Royal wedding fever

2011-04-29T16:06:00.000-04:00

Kate arrived in a car as a commoner, and left in a carriage as Princess Catherine. :) What a good decision that was. And what a good wedding day it is!

I love how Prince Harry said something Prince William as Princess Catherine was walking down the aisle. I wonder what Prince Harry said.

I love how Prince William was smiling and talking to Princess Catherine after she and her dad arrived at the altar.

I love the hats galore! Beautiful hats, big hats, small hats, even crazy Lady Gaga-style hats.

I love how they exchanged little smiles and glances throughout the ceremony

I love the trees inside Westminster Abbey.

I love how conservative yet modern Princess Catherine's gown is. Covered arms, covered shoulders. Chantilly lace. Love the clean lines. Reasonable train length. Sensibly-sized bouquet. Hair down. Focus on her face.

I love how Prince William was carefully walking on their way out, as if really careful not to step on her gown.

I love the pomp and pageantry of this wedding day.

I love how he looks at her.

They do look happy. What a relief to see.

Oh yeah, and I'm practicing using Princess Catherine, instead of Kate. :)

A Royal Wedding

2011-04-29T04:39:00.000-04:00

‎Up at 4am.

I love weddings, so I'm not missing this royal wedding. :)

I love this photo of the couple by Mario Testino. They just look so connected, completely at ease with each other. They're the new faces of British monarchy, and yes, it's changing - young, sensible, and accessible.

I enjoy all the hoopla about their wedding. People still love love, couples in love, weddings, and all it stands for.

I wish them all the best.

Trustworthy

2011-04-28T23:30:00.000-04:00

As part of the recent beautification project of our guest room, I had to figure out what to do with the spare daybed. My in-laws weren't going to use it, but I didn't want it to just look bleah. I had this brilliant idea of taking my toys out of the closet (trust me, I really felt brilliant about it...ha ha), and displaying them in the spare daybed. Mind you, these are stuffed animals I collected since I was a teenager. They've been in boxes, not seeing the light of day.

Zack watched me curiously while I was putting the toys on the bed. If a particular toy caught his eye, he'd move towards the toy to sniff it then continue watching. He didn't really do anything to make us suspect he'll play with them, but I admit, we were concerned that we'll find him hanging out on top of the daybed while playing with the toys. He LOVES toys and most of the time, he assumes most toys are his.

Unfounded fears, as it turns out. Lately though, when we'd play "find", he'd immediately go to the guest room, look up at the bed and look at me as if to say, "yep, the toys are there!" with his tail wagging. Surprisingly, he only goes to the guest room when I go inside. I experimented by leaving the guest room door ajar, just to see what he'll do. He stayed outside and just looked in.

He just cracks me up big time.

OMG

2011-04-27T23:46:00.000-04:00

Dream kitchen

2011-04-26T23:35:00.000-04:00

Tonight, we dreamt of the kitchen we want for our home - this home, where we live right now. We chose the cabinets, the countertop, the knobs and handles, even the kitchen faucet and sink. Up to now, I'm still in that dreamy state. We didn't even think of the appliances yet.

Our kitchen might be small, but the changes we thought of weren't necessarily crazy expensive. In fact, the final price including installation was lower than expected. However, it's not something you can pay off just like that, unfortunately. Oh well, it'll happen. I don't know how, but in the meantime, I'll just dream about it. :)

Don't forget!

2011-04-26T10:14:00.000-04:00

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." ~ Lao Tzu

A visit over and done with

2011-04-25T20:39:00.000-04:00

My mom-in-law and my sis-in-law were here last week (yeah, they're part of the reason for the recent painting project) and left last Friday. It turned out to be a pretty good visit all around. After returning home, we heard they're already planning next year's visit, which is a good thing. It must mean they had a good time, right?

It feels like the week went by in a blur. Spent one day in New York City going uptown, downtown and all around. By the end of the day, our feet hurt, but we had a good time. Of course, the thing with NYC is, you never have enough time to see all the sights. There's far too many. We did manage to see as many as humanly possible, given we had one day to spend there.

After a whirlwind of activities, the sudden quiet feels weird. It's only now that the tiredness of the past weeks are catching up with me. We woke up early and slept late. In between, sightseeing. Yet it remains to be a happy kind of tired. :)

Easter

2011-04-24T08:45:00.018-04:00

You can't believe in the whole Easter thing without believing in miracles.

To me, the Lenten season relays such a strong message - hang in there despite the trials and tribulations, keep the faith and yes, things will and do get better. Despair if you must and if you feel you have to, but don't wallow in it. True, there are people who will betray you, hurt you and deny even knowing you. But sooner or later, they'll realize what they've done. Bad things will pass, and in its place, what else but good can come of it?

Happy Easter to all of you!

Happy kind of tired

2011-04-11T00:26:00.001-04:00

My husband and I spent this weekend at home painting the guest room and the area leading up to the third floor. We even had the HP Order of the Phoenix audiobook going on. I worked on the guest room, while he did the staircase area due to the high ceiling.

I love the result.

I've noticed that in choosing colors, we seem to choose from Sherwin Williams' Cool Neutral and Warm Neutrals group. Very unusual.

Our foyer - Divine White

Our living room - Kilim Beige

Our dining room - Interactive Cream

Our guest room - Essential Gray

Our bedroom - Ethereal Mood

I DO love painting. I find it relaxing. Now I want to paint the bathrooms and the kitchen too!

HP 7/1 Deleted Scene

2011-03-30T08:07:00.000-04:00

I wish this scene was in the movie.

An "Office" Proposal

2011-03-29T17:01:00.001-04:00

Sweet!

Shown last week, this proposal is so "Office"-appropriate. Well-played. I wondered how they'd do it, but they did a good job. An office romance with a happy ending. Of all the women Michael dated in that show, they're the perfect match. They actually did a little FB survey who Michael should end up with. A lot of us show fans voted for Holly because the other women were mean to him, especially his former boss Jan. His relationship with Holly worked because Michael's a geek, and so's Holly.

I admit, it's kinda weird having all those candles in a paper factory. Oh yeah, they sell paper and printer. And the sprinkler turning on? Seems like an homage to Jim's proposal to Pam. Take it from me, I've been watching all "The Office" episodes the past weeks, so I remember such things including Michael's references in the proposal. Nice touch having the entire office participate. Michael considers them family, after all.

Here's a Michael Scott quote from my favorite episode "Stress Relief, Part 1":

"Nobody should have to go to work thinking, 'oh, this is the place that I might die today. That's what a hospital is for. An office is for not dying. An office is a place to... live life to the fullest. To the max. To... an office is a place where dreams come true.'"

The mushy in me went, "awwww! and it was true for him when he found Holly."

Oh yes, I realize they're not real. :D

U.P. naming mahal : )

2011-03-28T20:29:00.000-04:00

"U.P. Diliman is known for being not only the most prestigious, but also the most grueling academic institution in the country, and much of this reputation comes from its professors, who are infamous for writing tests with the expectation that half of their students will fail. U.P. Diliman's approach to higher education sounded like the complete opposite of the way American universities prepared students. Most of my college professors seemed primarily concerned with transferring knowledge to students, and I imagine they felt a sense of achievement when their students aced exams. U.P. professors appeared to treat their relationship with students in a more adversarial manner. They were like gatekeepers of intellectual achievement, presenting students with ever more difficult academic trials to ensure that whoever passed the class truly earned it."

~ Rafe Bartholomew, "Pacific Rims"

"Peace be with you"

2011-03-20T13:08:00.000-04:00

It was an "a-ha!" moment today in church for me. Having "peace be with you" as part of the Mass was just brilliant.

In one short statement, it encompasses everything you'd want for yourself and for others. What you give to others, they'll give it back to you..."peace be with you...and also with you".

It's actually one of my favorite parts of the Mass. People are shaking hands, nodding, smiling at one another. Loved ones hug and kiss. Having an entire congregation wishing one another peace...wow! I can only imagine the level of good will generated, even among total strangers.

Maybe it will do all of us some good to constantly think that way.

Of earthquakes and tsunamis

2011-03-18T22:16:00.008-04:00

I hesitated in blogging about what happened in Japan. Everyone seems to have something to say about it. I've even seen some extremely stupid comments that got me riled up. I mean seriously, how can people act as if Japan deserved what it got?

When they released the list of countries under tsunami warning, it reminded me how interconnected we all are. Just because it happened in Japan doesn't mean it doesn't affect you or someone you know.

I was shocked at the devastation. For a time, I couldn't help but keep staring at before/after photographs. Like a mad woman, I'd Google images and stare disbelievingly. Goodness, how small we really are in the scheme of things! Yes, a healthy respect for Mother Nature kicked in. Then I worried about the Philippines being an archipelago in the Pacific Ring of Fire. What about the people I love? How can they be kept safe? In case of an emergency, do they have plans in place?

Now I've stopped searching for photographs. I AM keeping tabs on a highschool batchmate who lives with her family in Japan. All she asks for are prayers. Right now, we all need that as well.

"Firework"

2011-03-14T19:00:00.000-04:00

I posted this in my Facebook wall. I'm posting it here.

Yeah, I like the song. I've heard it so many times on the radio, though I admit, I never paid particular attention to the lyrics. THAT happened when I saw the video and it won me over.

My sister Lani pointed out it's similar to the Care Bear Stare. True, true.

My favorite line?

"Maybe your reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road"

"Up" Carl and Ellie's Married Life

2011-03-10T15:40:00.002-05:00

Heartwarming and bittersweet.

Time for something new!

2011-03-08T16:48:00.001-05:00

Guess what? Our laundry dryer thought "enough is enough!" today. It's been here since 1994, so it's done its fair share of clothes drying. Having it repaired doesn't even seem to make sense considering the costs it will incur.

I've been busy doing the laundry since yesterday, then this happened. It seems like it wants me to stop. So fine, dryer, FINE.

Up side? We can get an energy-efficient laundry dryer now.
Down side? Expense. Cheapest dryer I found online's $200+ but what about delivery, installation and removal of the old one? I'd rather buy from a real store.

Oh boy.

I hope there's a good package deal for both a dryer AND washer out there, so they'll both get upgraded. :)

Netflix-ing away

2011-02-24T18:18:00.001-05:00

When my husband suggested that we subscribe to Netflix's streaming video, I was - like our dog when he hears the word "shower" - averse to the idea and ready to run in the opposite direction. "What new devilry is this?" I asked. Now I'm the one who watches the most movies and TV shows...har har.

As it turns out, I'm lovin' Showtime TV shows, the most recently discovered being "Californication". Fornication aside, the social commentary's pretty spot-on. I love the script.

Here's my favorite Hank line:

...people seem to be getting dumber and dumber. I mean we have all this amazing technology and yet computers have turned into basically four figure wank machines. The Internet was supposed to set us free, democratize us, but all it's really given us is Howard Dean's aborted candidacy and 24-hour a day access to kiddie porn, you know. And people don't write anymore, they blog; instead of talking, they text; no punctuation, no grammar. LOL this and LMFAO that. You know it just seems to me that it's just a bunch of stupid people psuedo-communicating with a bunch of other stupid people in a proto-language that resembles more what cavemen used to speak than the king's English.

And we're watching season 1 episodes so far.

I said no

2011-02-15T22:47:00.000-05:00

People say, "when an opportunity presents itself, go for it."

I say, "when the right opportunity for you presents itself, go for it."

Today I said no to a possible job assignment at a financial institution.

In my work life, I've been pretty easygoing...going with the flow...que sera, sera. I'm always open to new challenges. I learn things on the job, then do a good job. Eventually, I reach the point where there's no more room to maneuver, no more new knowledge to gain. I get stuck and then I find it difficult to get myself unstuck.

Now I've changed my attitude. If I'm picky and particular in other aspects of my life, why am I not that way with my work life?

If I grab every opportunity out there without considering whether or not it's in line with what I'm looking for, then at some point, I'll get frustrated because there's something else I really want to do.

If I grab every opportunity out there that is not necessarily something I'd want to do, something I have lukewarm feelings over, then I'm depriving someone else out there from getting this opportunity, which might be perfect for them. How selfish of me.

Maybe finding the perfect fit, the perfect match is an illusion. Then again, maybe it's not.

I know what I'm looking for. Right now anyway. If I can come anywhere near close to the perfect match, then it will make saying no to this opportunity worth it. It will make saying no the best thing to do. If I can get exactly the type of work I want, then that's great. More than great, it'll be awesome.

I love...

2011-02-14T02:14:00.004-05:00

my husband. Zack (our dog). my family. love. this blog. my other blogs. our business. our photo gear. vanilla. caramel. eating. traveling. falling in love. skydiving. hiking. cooking. reading. wishing on stars. looking at the moon. sunrise and sunset. rainbows. going to new places. going to old places. New Mexico. Prague. Seattle. Boston. New Orleans. Orlando. Quebec. Montreal. Baguio. Seoul. Incheon International Airport. "Lord of the Rings". meeting new people. taking pictures. singing. dancing. play-acting. mimicking different accents. walking. roughhousing with Zack. budgeting. red. blue. black. white. gerbera daisies. tulips. my blender. my iPod. UP. badminton. biking. shih tzus. maltese. hamsters. "Small Gods". snow. winter. rain. walking in the rain. sharing an umbrella with someone I love. hugs. kisses. snuggles. holding hands. sleeping in. naps. comfy flannel blankies, jammies and robes. bubble baths. journal writing. listening to loud music. snail mail. finding $1, $10 or $10 in my coat pocket. Christmas. "Arrested Development". good friends. really good friends. really good old friends. patintero. agawang base. taguan. hair dryers. long, hot showers. roller coasters. Chippy. Travel Channel. Food Network. sinigang. adobo. paying off a credit card. flip flops. banana cue. Cocoa Krispies. Bejeweled 3. water. iced chai tea latte. hot chocolate. fruit smoothies. random acts of kindness. "Harry Potter". LMH. "Moulin Rouge". rice. grilled mackerel. green mango salad. sago't gulaman. bibimbop. pho. chicken vindaloo. chicken tikka masala. mango lassi. Rocky Road ice cream. "Beauty and the Beast". the numbers 8 and 13. labelers. saying yes. saying maybe. hoping. serendipity. "a-ha!" moments. "Love Actually". old songs. new songs. happy news. love stories. romance. weddings. happily ever afters.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, EVERYONE!

Note: I typed this out as I thought of it, so it's not in any particular order.

You learn something new everyday

2011-02-10T02:05:00.000-05:00

I've been with myself and studying me for years now. And somehow, I still surprise myself.

So I've been feeling off lately. Fell off the happy wagon and the thankfulness train. When that happens, I usually avoid dealing with people. I retreat into my own Batcave or even Fortress of Solitude. This time, I even went so far as deleting certain people from my cellphone. I was getting ready to clean up my Facebook friend list, e-mail address book, etcetera as well. It's sort of connected to what I wrote here..."It's easier to keep things to myself than to share with others and get disappointed by them."

Now I realize that I'm going about it the wrong way.

When I feel glum and gloomy, that's the time that I should reach out to others. Keeping it all to myself doesn't do any good. I can choose either to share the burden, or find out what their trials and tribulations are. If things are going great for them, then all's well and good. If not, then it'll take my mind off my own concerns. It'll make me realize that I'm not the only one dealing with things. Everyone has their fair share.

And that's what we're all here for, after all. To be there for one another. We might not have the solutions for each other's problems. But at the very least, someone's listening. Or cares enough to just let me vent. I have to give them the chance and expect the best - that they'll be there for me during the rare times I'm in such a mood. Because I try to be there for them when needed anyway.

"Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them." And that statement rings very true for me.

Good ol' friends

2011-02-09T19:20:00.003-05:00

I love days when good ol' friends pop up out of nowhere exactly when I needed them. ♥

Despite the distance.

Especially when I didn't even realize it myself that I needed them. I've been feeling off lately. Not sure why. It's like they heard my distress call. Without me saying or doing anything.

I just love them.

"Up"

2011-02-07T00:47:00.004-05:00

Folks have been telling me to watch "Up" since it was shown back in 2009. But I resisted. Not really sure why. Maybe it's the extremely short title. It didn't grab my attention or interest. My husband's been trying to get me to watch it, but it never works. Until tonight, that is. He said I can watch 10 minutes of it. If I don't like it, we'll stop the movie. I said 30 minutes.

The first 10 minutes of it made me sad that I didn't want to watch it anymore. Kept telling my husband, "you wanted me to watch this?" Watching the story of Carl and Ellie's life together unfold was...well...quite a touching experience, to say the least.

Here are my thoughts while watching the movie:

You can never be too old or too young to have an adventure. Do what you want. Don't wait. Better yet, live your life as if every single day is an adventure.

Own a pet. Any pet. And yes, they will own you in return. They will fill the gaps and spaces, and somehow make you feel whole. To them, YOU are their world.

Let go when you're ready. You grow, outgrow and move on. "It's just a house." Or a car. Or a job. Whatever it is that's not working despite your best efforts, let it go.

Open your heart. It's an adventure. There are always new people, events and situations for you to encounter.

You never know if and when you're the best thing to happen in someone's life. You might very well change someone's life in ways you can't even imagine.

To those folks who couldn't believe I haven't seen "Up" and wondered why on earth I haven't, I finally get it.

Not idiots

2011-02-04T09:55:00.002-05:00

While blog hopping today, I came across a bunch of blogs by teens. I confess, some gave me a headache, especially at how they write (or seem not to know how to write). And yet I did see a bunch of gems as well. Though media might want us to believe that all hope is lost for the current generation, somehow, I still see hope.

Inasmuch as there are idiotic teens, there are also smart teens. Not all teens are idiots. To overgeneralize and lump them together as such is an injustice. Let's face it, there are idiotic and smart adults as well.

So in conclusion...

I vow to recognize that teens think and do know how to think for themselves. Even if their decisions and opinions aren't the same as yours or mine.

I vow to allow the teens I know (and will know) to make their own mistakes and learn from them.

I vow to respect their moods and feelings. Forcing them to constantly put up a happy front only sends a message that any emotion - apart from happiness - is just a no-no.

I want a piece of it

2011-02-02T17:04:00.000-05:00

The icicles outside the bedroom windows make me want to reach out, touch it and get a piece of it. Not sure why.

Believe it or not, some of the icicles are nearly the same length as the windows.

Ugggh! It just looks so pretty.

The second month has begun

2011-02-01T01:27:00.000-05:00

Yep. February. Already. Can you believe that?

Still around

2011-01-30T01:53:00.001-05:00

One assignment ends, another one is yet to begin. Hope it begins soon. *crosses fingers*

I have been too lazy to blog. Not really sure what there is to blog about.

Must I complain about the endless snow? No. I love snow. I love winter. I love having to stay indoors and Netflix like crazy. I love sitting on the couch and hanging out in my jammies.

Must I worry about my next assignment? No. It'll come.

Must I set out to return to the previous assignment? Maybe, but a part of me thinks it's time to move on. They were getting mad at me for not going after the vacancy. It just didn't feel...right. I enjoyed working with the people, but the job itself? Not really. Good benefits, lousy pay, fun coworkers, ho-hum work. No point forcing a square peg in a round hole. Good thing out of it? I'm thankful that I realized not all offices are hellholes and not all officemates are assholes. They were all so sad during my last day there. It made me sad too. Anyway, I know what I want work-wise --- at least what I want for now.

While I'm biding my time, I hope to blog more often again.

2nd Day of 2011

2011-01-02T15:12:00.001-05:00

Spent New Year's eve at our place - just me, my husband, and Zack. For New Year's eve, we had blue crab spread, crackers, queso de bola, pad thai, bread, fruit salad and leche flan. We didn't even get to eat the pad thai as we kept munching on the blue crab spread and crackers.

Later on, woke up at noon. Ate a bit of lechon kawali with steamed veggies. Spent the rest of the day, night and early morning sitting on the couch wearing my jammies. Watched "Avalon High", "Tapped", clips of "The Soup", and old episodes of "Dexter". Napped on the couch at intervals.

Oh, and I thought of two New Year's resolution (yeah, unbelievable since I don't usually do resolutions).

#1: I will learn to get things done efficiently and effectively in a leisurely and relaxed manner. Meaning? Each day is not a marathon. I don't have to wake up thinking, "ready...set...go!" I can get things done without acting as if time's constantly running out. No point thinking and acting as if I have to get everything done NOW. I know that I'll get things done anyway.

#2: Less Facebook time. There's more to life than Facebook. After all, it's not as if I share everything that goes on with me in Facebook, yet somehow, it succeeds in eating up a big chunk of my time reading other people's updates and checking their photo albums. For 2011, less will be more.

Hope your 2011 is shaping up pretty well!

1.1.11 - Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T01:57:00.001-05:00

On to a new year.

2011 will be a great year for all of us. There'll be more new people to meet and know, new food to eat, and new experiences to...well, experience. Let us all be happy, healthy and prosperous. :) Cheers!

I'll go my merry way

2010-12-28T23:41:00.010-05:00

Thinking of certain people, events and situations tend to make me feel sad every now and then - the kind of sad that pops out of nowhere. The thing is, I know that I've already given enough attention and time on those people, events and situations. I know that I should just let it be. But life surprises. Some days, it takes herculean effort not to dwell on them or get carried away by the negativity when I get reminded of them.

All I can do is wish everyone well, really mean it and go my merry way. And yes, I'll pat myself on the back. At least I'm trying to overcome the negative with a positive. That must count for something, right?

If there are people who don't like me, then there are those whom I don't like as well. If there are people who like me, then there are also people I like. Life, in all its craziness, is fair that way. It keeps everything in balance. I like it.

It's still howling out there

2010-12-27T12:42:00.000-05:00

The snow stopped already, but the winds haven't. I can actually see snow swirling around outside. The winds are so strong, it makes me afraid that our windows might break. *knocks on wood* Tsk tsk tsk.

Anyway, thank goodness people's common sense kicked in. No work. Trains have been shut down.

What boggles my mind completely is watching the news and finding people stranded in airports, etc. complaining about getting stranded. But seriously, would you want to travel in the middle of a blizzard? If getting stranded is inevitable, I'd rather be stranded in an airport where it's nice, warm and slightly comfy, instead of mid-travel. Picture emergency landings. Or even sitting for hours in a train that can't go anywhere because of the snow. Or riding a bus that might run into slippery conditions while out on the road. Ugh.

Isn't your life more important? I'd be thankful that my safety (and the other passengers') is a priority, instead of whining about getting stuck in an airport. Sure, getting stranded is an inconvenience. But I'd rather be inconvenienced than be faced with the alternative - that is, having a head-on collision with a snowy force of nature.

We've got a howler

2010-12-27T01:25:00.000-05:00

A blizzard is raging. Snow outside our place is already past 12 inches.

It's not the snow that's scary; it's the gusty winds. Goodness, I can hear it howling outside. Thankfully, our mayor's got the common sense to declare a snow emergency, even urging residents to stay indoors. As for work later today, well, I'm not going to even TRY going. At the rate it's going, it looks like there's more to come. I've common sense and I'll use it.

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T21:50:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...what a nice relaxing day it's been.

Went to Midnight Mass at 11:30pm last night. Ended at 1:30am. Slept at 3am. Woke up at 2pm. Went out for a half-hour walk outside, all three of us. Watched "Elf" today and "Love Actually" last night. Loaded up on carbs yesterday, but who cares? :D Happily got the gifts I wanted.

Anyway, Merry Christmas!

Almost Christmas

2010-12-24T00:18:00.000-05:00

Are you ready for it?

I know I am.

We've decided on a quiet Christmas eve celebration at home with a very low-key menu - ham, queso de bola, fruit salad, and courtesy of sister Lani, baked ziti, cookies and white wine. We'll also go to Mass at 12:00 midnight, with Christmas carols beginning at 11:30pm. What else? We'll be watching holiday-themed movies just for the heck of it. :)

What are your plans?

We're here

2010-12-12T04:51:00.000-05:00

Yes, we are!

We'll gallivant around the city today and tomorrow with an old friend and her boyfriend later today. It's been raining, but that's what this place is known for, after all.

As for the place we're staying, it's pretty good. We even have a view of the Space Needle from our window. Not right smack in the middle of the window, only when we look out to the left, but hey, a view's a view, right?

Hurray for free underground covered parking!
Hurray for free breakfast!
Hurray for free wireless internet!

The flight went well. I was asleep before take-off, so I don't even know if the plane left on time. They bombarded us with drinks. I'd get my drink and then fall asleep quickly. What's up with that? I was like the Dormouse from "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland". I only seriously woke up when I heard we were landing soon.

Can't wait to go sightseeing later...this is gonna be fun!!!

A place to rest our heads for the night

2010-12-08T23:34:00.000-05:00

Giselle: Now if only I can find a place to rest my head for the night.
Robert Philip: What kind of place?
Giselle: I don't know. Maybe a nearby meadow or a hollow tree.
Robert Philip: A hollow tree?
Giselle: Or a house full of dwarves. I hear they're very hospitable.

I've been looking for a place to stay for our trip this weekend. Tonight, my husband finally booked it! For one week, I was torn between price and proximity to the city. Of course, it's cheaper not to stay in the city. But I love a good challenge. I wanted to find a place with BOTH free parking and free breakfast. Even better if it's downtown, near the attractions we want to see with access to public transportation.

Crazy but as it turns out, not impossible. We found it!

Now I'm wondering if we still need to rent a car.

Yeah, we're budget travelers and darn proud of it. :D

Christmas Tree 2010

2010-12-06T17:59:00.001-05:00

I blogged about getting our tree, so now I thought I'd share how it looks like.

Click on it and you'll see Stitch and Cookie Monster. They go with the blue, white and silver theme, don't you think?

I love it. : )

Say "yay!"

2010-11-30T23:05:00.000-05:00

Many self-help books advise adopting an "attitude of gratitude". Here's my take on that for this day.

Yay #1: Our new storm door was finally installed this afternoon!

Yay #2: I thought I'd be late for work, but ended up sitting at my desk three minutes before 9am. Not bad! I even had a nice parking spot. Woo hoo!

Yay #3: Airline miles expired today. I took a chance and sent them an e-mail asking if they can reinstate it for a bit of time since I really want to use them. They gave me till tomorrow to use it.

Yay #4: Tonight, I used the reinstated miles to book a flight (just mine though). Guess what? My return ticket - first class! Oh yeah!

Yay #5: Hubby had to buy his own ticket, but his tickets were waaay cheaper than expected. And we're on the same flights (although we're not seated together on the way back). And he gets to earn miles.

Yay #6: OMG. After endless searching for flight, we're booked. What joy!

Yay #7: We're going on a much-needed vacation. FINALLY.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this day. :)

got the tree!

2010-11-27T01:47:00.000-05:00

Oh yes, we did!

Yesterday, the day after a food- and fun-filled Thanksgiving, we got our fragrant 5' balsam Christmas tree. Later today, it will go to our living room. Tree decorating time! We already moved our sofa and loveseat around to accommodate our tree.

I like having a Christmas tree, but we haven't had a Christmas tree since 2006. In 2007, we were in California for Christmas. In 2008, we went to California, got back before the 25th, but had no time to buy a tree. In 2009, we went to California and the Philippines due to my father-in-law's death.

This year, we're back to having a tree. Happy me!

Mr. 100%

2010-11-23T18:30:00.001-05:00

That's what Zack is.

Anything he does, he does with much enthusiasm. He knows the important words - go, eat, play, find, walk. Those words get his tail wagging like crazy. He hates certain words and pretends not to understand - shower, for instance, and stay.

When he's sleepy, he just goes to sleep. When he's hungry, he'll follow you around. When he wants to play, he'll drop a toy at your feet. If you miss the signal, he'll touch your knee or your leg, and stare at you meaningfully. He likes to take us out on walks (because really, we need it more for exercise purposes than he does!).

I like the way he lives his life - eat, drink, play, walk, run, sleep.

New blog! Guilt-free gastronomy

2010-11-20T07:13:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking of starting another blog, one that focuses only on food. I finally got one up and running! Guilt-free Gastronomy.

It's a work in progress. I might still change the name. Or the theme. Whatever. But one thing's definite, it's all about food. Check it out!

Harry Potter fever

2010-11-19T04:10:00.002-05:00

The seventh Harry Potter movie "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows" is finally and thankfully out. My wait is over.

We went to the midnight screening. Got to the movie house at 10pm. We were seated before 11pm. For some bizarre reason, we were plucked out from the line, told to go ahead and pass the others, and find our seats. Did I question the whole thing? Of course not. Some things, you just go along with. No questions asked. We smiled and said thanks.

Days and weeks before, I re-read the seventh book and watched all six movies. I'm happy to say that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the newest movie. If this is like school, these kids are graduating with honors (especially Rupert Grint, who I always thought was always held back in proving his acting prowess). Even Emma Watson who seems adept at what I call eyebrow acting is waaaaaay better in this movie. As for Daniel Radcliffe, well, I've seen him in "Equus", so yes, I know the boy can act. No surprises there.

Ralph Fiennes is his usual creepy self. You gotta love him.

Now I can't wait to watch the movie again.

Sometimes you're afraid to let go of the pain

2010-11-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if you'll be able to read this. I know that I've said my piece to you. I know that I probably hurt you by telling you exactly what I thought. As your friend, it's difficult for me, knowing what you're going through. I know what you're going through is difficult.

Sometimes you're afraid to let go of the pain. You got used to it. You can't imagine how life will be once you let go. You're afraid that letting go will mean forgetting the other person. So you hold on to whatever feeling's left - be it anger, hurt, loneliness, etcetera. It's your final stand, the final way that you can hold on to someone, especially when that someone moved on already.

Women like you. You're a nice guy. Now is a good time to exercise your options.

I'm here for you, but you know that I'm not going to tolerate your wallowing anymore. Enough already.

Go out there. Meet someone new. Fall in love. You've waited long enough.

Hmmm...wow...

2010-11-11T20:29:00.000-05:00

It's been almost three months since I last wrote here. Do I tell you what went on at that time until the present? Do I just write what happened today? I'll be darned. It's been so long since I've written that I honestly don't even know where to begin. Oh well.

Who turned 5 today?

2010-11-07T20:25:00.002-05:00

I have a confession to make.

I was ready to say goodbye to this blog. I felt blogging here for five years, recording the ups and downs of my life, was just narcissistic. Who cares what went on in my life? Who cares about my realizations? It's MY life. Why was I allowing other people to read about it? Why don't I just LIVE it? What's more, I looked back on old posts.

Gaaaaah! I was such a whiner. For the most part, I tried to be upbeat. Tried to see silver linings in situations. Tried to make sense of things that happened (or didn't happen) to me. Tried to see the good in people.

I wanted to start a new blog. Be positive. Be hopeful. In other words, be happy with what's in my life now. "Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future" as Christian D. Larson wrote it.

Enough whining. Enough complaining. Enough negativity.

So yes, it's a surprise that this blog reached its 5th birthday today. What's in store for this blog? Perhaps a Vanilla and Caramel reboot of sorts.

By the way, thanks, Lene, for the greeting. :)

36 and thankful

2010-08-20T03:54:00.000-04:00

I turned 36 at midnight.

I wish to thank my parents without whom I wouldn't have been possible. :)

I'm thankful for so many things.

I am surrounded by people who love me and who I love in return. In fact, they even make an effort to keep in touch with me. I hope my presence in their lives will make a positive difference, in the way their presence in my life makes a positive difference.

I'm even thankful for Facebook! In fact, Facebook's been the source of laughter since that's how people got wind of my birthday. I've been getting birthday greetings since early last week. No complaints though. It's the thought that counts.

I'm happy. I'm healthy. I'm loved. I have more than enough. I believe all good things are in store and ready to enter our lives. I look forward to another year! Yay!

If you're in Facebook, please vote!

2010-08-05T02:17:00.002-04:00

Here's something fun I did last week...I wrote and submitted my take on the question "What does it mean to cook food well?" Click the badge below to read it!

**vanilla and caramel**