March 16, 2017

The quote that got this post started

"A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation, doesn’t always need togetherness. As long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends will never part." ~ Unknown
Unfortunately, whoever wrote that never gets any proper credit. Surprisingly, it's been doing the rounds on Facebook for years now. In fact, I've been seeing it again in the past few weeks. But I don't really agree with it.

I mean, it's a cop-out. If you don't hear from your friends or if you hardly see them, then what the heck is going on? Sure, you might "live in their hearts" (yep, quotation marks intended), but if no one's making the effort to keep in touch, then honestly, it's just a matter of time before that relationship dissolves. No one is ever too busy for the people that are important to them. If they don't have time for you, then you're not important to them. It's really that simple.

Communication is important in any relationship. Isn't that one of the factors that keep relationships strong? Not just a romantic relationship, but any relationship. In this day and age, there are so many ways to keep in touch.

Sad truth? If your friends aren't keeping in touch, then it's because they're choosing not to keep in touch. Aren't we living in an age when everyone's hands are constantly glued to their phones? So what are the odds that they didn't see your message/s? How tough is it for them to simply type, "hey, just checking's everything?" and send it your way? Or even a simple, "sup?"

Stop breaking your heart.

Stop thinking "if I reach out more, then they'll reply."

They won't. They know that they can keep pushing you to your limit, and you'll keep moving that line to accommodate them. They know you're that nice, you're that much of a pushover. Even worse, they just don't care enough that you care that much. Ouch! You're doing too much caring for the two of you, but you're the one left empty-handed.

"They're busy", you say. But who isn't? Surely, you've also got a lot on your plate. You don't just spend your days staring into space and dreaming idle dreams. Yet you find the time.

Let's face it, not everyone is worth your time and effort. Others simply are a waste. That's just the way it is.

If you relish the idea of being described as thoughtful, sweet and caring by your friend/s, and if it's OK with you, then by all means, keep at it. But if you wonder why you're the one constantly giving and the other party keeps taking, then stop.

Sometimes some people don't want to have anything to do with you anymore, but they're too chicken to admit it.

Sometimes it's better to admit that you've grown far apart, instead of trying in vain to hold on to what you had before. If, by chance, you end up coming full circle in life (because life, as we all know, is full of surprises), then that will just be one of life's little surprises. But don't hold your breath on that one. You might get disappointed.

Everyone needs a friend. Find your circle. The ones who contact you out of nowhere just to check how you're doing. Keep friendships that are worth keeping, that are worthy of who you are and how you are.

Trust me, I've been that thoughtful friend all these years. But I learned that nothing beats having friends who are willing to put in the same effort as you do.
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. Euripides
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Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. Euripides
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February 3, 2017

What's real and what's not

I wish for honest and sincere appreciation. Not the sort of appreciation that gets thrown my way just because someone wants me to do something for them. That's not real. It's also not so I can strut around and brag to everyone what I've done to deserve the appreciation. If anything, I will probably just say thanks, then continue doing what I was doing. That's how I am. But just the thought of honest and sincere appreciation is something I'd appreciate in return.

I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I'm stuck in a bad situation, I can't pretend otherwise. A friend told me that maturity is being able to smile through the pain. But the way I see it, you can only smile so much before your real feelings will come out. So why not be real?

January 31, 2017

It's your life. Live it

Some people live their lives as if it was never theirs to live. They move from living the lives their parents wanted for them to the lives their friends envision for them, and finally, the lives their spouses or partners create for them.

When does your life belong to you and not to other people?

When will you take responsibility for your own life by making your own decisions and facing the consequences?

November 16, 2016

When clarity kicks in

It's amazing how clarity kicks in at different times of our lives.

You know how you're just quietly minding your own business, doing your thing. Then something happens - nothing dramatic - and it makes you realize things that has been right in front you all along, but you're just too dense to notice.

Then there are things that should be let go. Friendships that are on respirators, marginally functioning and should really just be done with.

There are loves we hold on to for dear life, without noticing the real loves that accept everything.

October 13, 2016

I heart Phryne and Jack

Do you know about "Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries"? I discovered it on Netflix and I absolutely love it! I've watched all three seasons over and over already. I particularly love the chemistry between Phryne (Essie Davis) and Jack (Nathan Page)!

Phryne:  I know we have some minor points of contention, Jack, but we enjoy uncovering the truth together, don’t we?
Jack: Therein lies the problem.
Phryne: What do you mean?
Jack: When I thought it was you in that wreckage, I found it unbearable.
Phryne: Sounds serious.
Jack: It is.
Phryne: I am who I am, Jack. I can’t give it up.
Jack: I’m not asking you to give it up. I would never ask you to do that.
Phryne: So you’re giving me up instead? What we do best, us, together, you’d sacrifice that? If you did that, Jack, I would feel…I would feel like it was you lying in that wreckage. Please can you think about that?
Jack: I will.

Phryne: I thought you were with Rosie.
Jack: I was. Is it too late?
Phryne: Never.
Jack: I’ve never seen her like that before. She was in shock. She just needed some company.
Phryne: She needed you, Jack Robinson. The man who always does the right thing. The noble thing.
Jack: Not always, Miss Fisher.

July 22, 2016

An Open Letter to My Best Friend

You're at a crossroads again.

I can stand idly by, listen to you complain endlessly, feel sorry about yourself and even crash and burn. But I care for you far too much to let you do that. You've had tough times. Never-ending, it seems. You get stuck in situations that you feel suck you in slowly but surely. I can tell you all sorts of consoling things. Heck, I can even tell you things you don't want to hear. But I care enough about you that I have to point out certain things that you already know, but you need reminding.

Stop saying yes to every job opportunity that comes your way because you want to learn new things. The end result is always the same. You realize that it doesn't really interest you. You get stuck because you already learned so much, it seems a waste to just walk away. But honestly, it's the novelty, right? Once it wears off, you don't like it anymore. If you want to learn something new, take up knitting or crocheting. For goodness' sake, take up a new hobby, NOT a new job.

Stop thinking bosses will help you move up your career ladder. It's your career, not theirs. They usually admit it anyway - they're in it for themselves. Not you. Not the team. They aim to move up. You're just one of the people who can get them where they want to be. Learn from them. Seriously.

Stop being indecisive about your career. What do YOU want to do? Do you want to keep working for companies? Are you looking for someone to take care of you and give you regular paychecks? Honestly, longevity with companies is now just a pipe-dream. You know you'd rather be your own boss.

Stop allowing fear to get the better out of you. Come to think of it, it's not really getting the better out of you. By not going after what you want, you're suppressing what you're really good at. You're always afraid of not having enough, having bills to pay. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Stop being so scared! You are braver than you think.

Stop acting like you don't deserve anything good. Even if you say you do, your choices don't really reflect that. Treat yourself better than how you've been treating yourself. You treat others with more consideration and forgiveness. Direct it to yourself.

Stop going with the flow (if you can). Go after what you want. Sure you do that with small things. How about trying it with bigger and more important stuff? Reward yourself with what you want.

Here's what you should try now.

You know your value. Go after opportunities that will recognize and will reward you with what you're worth. Everytime you go after something new that you don't know about, you allow others to dictate your value. And it's always, "you don't know anything about this job. Why should we pay you a lot when you don't know anything about it? You'll learn on the job." Stop allowing others to dictate your value when you keep getting into new things. Go after opportunities that you have expertise in. That way, you can be paid what your skills and talents are worth. Better yet, set your own price because you know your own worth.

Put your money where your mouth is. Be where you want to be. No apologies, excuses or explanations are necessary. You don't owe anyone that. In other words, please, please, PLEASE...

Be true to yourself. Stop overthinking things. You've always known what you want. Yet you always consider everyone and leaving yourself last. STOP. No one will give you a medal for being self-sacrificing.

Use your backbone more, your wishbone less. You can get more done that way. Wishing your life away is no way to live.

Take THAT step. Whatever you're afraid of. Life is full of surprises.

Give yourself what you want. Stop waiting for approval or permission. You've always played by the rules - other people's rules. It's time to break those rules because it's your life. Own it. They can shove their rules up their asses.

Great things are gonna happen soon. Get ready because awesome is yet to come.

June 15, 2016

What season are you grateful for?

I am grateful for winter.

As someone from a tropical country, I truly appreciate winter.

I love snow. I love waking up and seeing snow outside. I love coats, gloves, hats, scarves, boots and heavy coats and jackets. I love snowshoeing.

Waking up to the sight of snow makes me happy.

June 14, 2016

What sight are you grateful for today?

Bright and blue clear skies on my way to work this morning.

I actually looked at the sky in utter awe because it looked amazing. I doubt that I could capture it on my phone. Plus I was driving. All I could do was admire it from the driver's seat and be thankful. It made me think that I was going to have a beautiful day. Or at least, I can start my work day on a happy note because of what I've seen.